Five Parenting Tips God Wants You to Know

Have you ever heard of the phrase, I wish kids came with an Instruction manual? Well, I believe they do and it is called the Bible. If followed consistently, The Bible is the most practical and easiest way to rear children, even in today's world.

My husband and I have been blessed to be the youth ministers of several ministries; from a bus ministry that we became involved with in 2008, to a Vacation Bible School class, to our very own weekly class called Mission Minded Kids (also known as M&M kids) on Wednesday nights.

Since 2008, my husband and I have gained multitudes of experience in what works and what does not work. This guide will hopefully help you gain some knowledge into these "secrets" and help you live a fuller life as a parent.

First and foremost, we as youth pastors do not want to replace you as your child's parent; we could never fill those shoes. However all too often, we have seen this happen and not only is it disheartening for the child to trust an outsider, it is heart wrenching for the youth minister because we know it is you they need. These are the top five things we see children having or lacking that contributes to bad behavior:

1. Too much freedom

2. Too little discipline

3. Too many "things"

4. Idle time

5. Not Holding children accountable for their mistakes

Before you click off this page, this is not going to be a put-down article of parents; The Lord knows there are enough people out there writing these sorts of articles, and parents struggle enough without hearing junk. I guarantee, this will not be one of these articles. Let us take each problem and see if there is a Biblical "secret" to fixing them.

Too much freedom- Giving too much freedom at a young age (12 and younger) to become too demanding. Children need boundaries, and children cannot emotionally handle many decisions on their own at this age. Am I saying to order every step they take? Absolutely not, but what I am saying is that children need and crave boundaries. Boundaries help them self-govern, give them security, and allows them the freedom to be kids within reason. Proverbs 22:6 says, "Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it." Children need parents to structure their mind and the actions of their children, which leads me to the next issue:

Too little discipline- When children do wrong, they must be taught the right way. The Bible says in Proverbs 22:15, "Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him." Again, am I saying that every time a child does wrong there is need of a spanking? No, not at all, however, The Bible teaches parents that when do not punish wrong behavior, It will come back to haunt us and does the child harm. If children know that if they do a certain act, that there will be a consistent consequence, then that child will think twice before behaving badly. One way we take care of business in class is to have positive reinforcement since we wouldn't even think of spanking a child in class. This is a parent's duty, not ours. We find out what the kids' favorite things are and make it a priority to honor one favorite thing per week. Each child enters one favorite activity to do and we draw out of a hat one thing for the next week's class, and the kids love it! I believe that there are times however, when you as a parent must come to a decision about spanking children if boundaries are violated; this is however, a personal decision.

Too many "things"- We now live in a society that thinks, the more you have the better off you are. While having nice things is alright, excess at such a young age is a recipe for disaster. Children learn from a very young age to get what they want, they must act a certain way. When they are indulged, they not only build up a tolerance for more, they also expect that they will get it. Children today do not have to earn what they get; they just get what they want without earning it. Keep toys and gadgets age appropriate. In other words, try to refrain from buying a six year old a cell phone or a 12 year old an Ipad. If these items are wanted, sit down with your child and show them what it will take to earn such a gadget.

Idle time- This is probably the biggest problem our children are facing today. With the invention of computer games and lack of after school activities, kids are left to themselves. Get your child involved with an after school activity that will be well rounded and educational. Some schools have an after school care program, and if they are too old for the after school program, perhaps they could volunteer at a local shelter or acquire a YMCA pass. Keeping children busy in the right things is one way we can ensure they are not becoming Idle. Sure, there should be some downtime, but playing Playstation 3 or the Xbox game systems until bedtime is not the best way to have downtime.

Not holding children accountable for their mistakes- Again, we have come to an age where children are divorcing their parents and making threats to call Child Services on their parents because they do not get their own way and it is high time that we help them realize that when they make mistakes that there are consequences. One particular Sunday school student named "Naomi" (name changed for anonymity) was quite a handful. She would do everything and anything to get my goat. One Morning at church, she threw a ball and it hit one of the small children in the head, causing this child to fall and suffer a nosebleed. At first she wanted to blame the incident on another girl who was her "partner in crime" most times named "Melissa" "(name changed for anonymity) and she did not get away with it. Since the child who was hurt was ultimately alright, we had Naomi sit out of our meeting that day, which consisted of a pizza party, and sit with the child and the child's parents. If the child needed anything, she was to get it. This taught Naomi that when you hurt someone, even in accident, that you are responsible to make it right.

Parents today have a tough job, mainly because our world has gotten away from the Bible. If we as youth ministers to children and parents want our future generations to flourish, we must instill good values and judgment in them. It takes two to make this happen: Parents, and outside people like youth ministers to care for their needs and the needs of the parents. When Youth ministers partner with parents, the likelihood that children will turn out bad is lower than a child not receiving direction at all. Few people realize this, but they already own the best book on successful parenting-the Bible! It is full of practical, helpful advice on parenting. We can also be sure that it's good advice because its ultimate Author is the One who made parents and children" Our mighty and Omniscient Creator!

Lo, children [are] an heritage of the LORD: [and] the fruit of the womb [is his] reward. Psalm 127:3