Five Questions to Ask to Know When to Say 'When'

Are you busily involved with work, school, children's activities, church and the community? Has the hustle and bustle of your life started seeming more like stress, instead of fulfillment? As mothers, we sometimes seem to have a problem saying no when asked to participate in an event, activity or committee, but once we have committed our time and talents find it even harder to back out of it or even know the right time to. Have you wondered when enough is enough and when to say when?

I recently found myself feeling like a "quitter." I am very active in my community and decided to stop serving on one of the committees I was on. While I didn't make the decision lightly, I still felt like a quitter so of course I turned to my best gal pals for advice. They are very wise women and helped me to realize that it really is OK to "quit" because it's important to know when to say "when." If you're still undecided, ask yourself these questions:

Is this activity still "fun?" When we first get involved in the school's PTA or volunteer to serve on a committee in the neighborhood, we know that it will be a great deal of work but we also think it will be fun; fun to share ideas, participate, form friendships and see the "fruits of our labor." If your answer is no, it may be time to say "when."

Am I giving this activity my best? We all think we are doing our best. We hope we are doing our best. But when you think about it, is this committee, group or organization really getting your very best? If your answer is no, it may be time to say "when."

Am I getting out of this activity as much as I was? Of course we join in activities and events hoping to bring something of value to the table, but our reasons are not always purely altruistic. Maybe we hope to start out on the PTA and later run for a school board position. Maybe we simply want the recognition of our time and talents. Maybe we want to make friends. Whatever other reason you have for volunteering, if your answer is no, it may be time to say "when."

Am I a better person and parent for being involved? Do you find yourself impatient, angry, upset or hurt when you are involved in it? Do you open these emails with fear, saving them for the last thing you read? If your answer is yes, then it may be time to say "when."

Am I faking it? Do you walk into a meeting with a fake smile on your face? Do you participate but your heart and enthusiasm just isn't in it? Do you hold back on ideas or suggestions or are you just going through the motions? If your answer is yes, then it may be time to say "when."

These are some tough questions to ask yourself. Not all answers will be as simple as yes or no. But a few minutes of introspection can save you and your family from a great deal of time later on down the road and stress. There are plenty of ways to look at "quitting." One friend reminded me that "to everything there is a season," yet another said, "Change is good," and my more direct friend said, "Well you didn't think you could do that forever did you?" It is true, "to everything there is a season." Do the leaves stay green? Does it snow year round? No. So the next time you find yourself wondering when to say when, ask yourself these simple questions. Your answers will help you know that you are not a quitter, but that you are wise enough to know when enough is enough and when it's time to go. You are not quitting, you are simply moving on to another season in your life.

Read more from this contributor
Three tips to get you back into Motherhood and out of "Mom-Petition"
When Your Child is Being Bullied
Getting more for less: The Walmart $75.00 Challenge