Five Reasons Why Men Cheat: Lack of Sex, Bruised Egos and More
Gone are the days when marriage and relationship were treasured entities never to be violated regardless of how bad things got. Many wonder if we will ever return to a day when love and respect were values in every relationship and cheating was something that never happened. Or, as some believe, has cheating always taken place, men were just better at it or women were more accepting of it? That question continues to linger as television has educated this generation on the nuances of relationships more so than parents. And talk shows have made a mockery of wholesome, valuable relationships as opposed to the fodder that is talk show haven on television today.
But back to the point of this article; as a married man it is impossible for me to imagine ever cheating on my wife. I would imagine if I ever cheated on my wife someone would need to get a eulogy ready because she would knock my head off the moment she found out I slept with another woman. But since I have friends and I have not always been the faithful, monogamous man that I am now, here are the five reasons why I believe men cheat on their wives and girlfriends.
(In no particular order)
Reason #1 that men cheat on their mates is home is no longer happy. For most men, when their relationship is solid and the sex is good the need or drive to cheat is greatly diminished. That is not to say that some men will not stray even when there is a good situation at home. But more often than not, when a man is happy at home he is less likely to cheat. So women, I must ask a question. Why is home not a happy place anymore for the man that you love?
Reason #2 that men cheat on their wives is self-esteem. What? You actually believe a man will not give his attention to a woman who makes him feel like a better, stronger man that his wife does? Let's be real and honest. Anytime a man gets his ego stroked by a woman she is going to get at least casual attention. That attention may be averted by men like me but for some, it is a simple matter of stroking that ego to the point where because he is getting something from outside of his relationship, sex becomes a natural extension of what has been cooking in the stew.
Reason #3 that men cheat on their girlfriends is sexual health. While reason number one dealt more so with the health of the relationship between a husband and a wife another reason men cheat is the differences in the sexual needs and desires between the couple. Differences in sex drives as well as the experience of sex can cause some men to stray. Some men are interested in trying new things. Other men are looking for sex on more than a once a month basis. In both cases, the separation between the two postures sets the stage for the possibility for infidelity to take place.
Reason #4 that men cheat on their spouses is because they can. Some men cheat on their mates because of simple mathematics. Some women either because of denial or low self-esteem take a very passive stance when it comes to their relationship. Some recent articles have gone so far as to talk about man-sharing philosophies by some women in communities where the male population is so much lower than the female population. For women who agree with such matters, men cheat as a consequence of women who simply allow it to happen and do not provide any punishment or accountability for the actions.
Reason #5 that men cheat on their wives is because they do not think they will get caught. That statement sounds so incredulous but when you talk to men, especially in the 21-25 age bracket some cheat because they are incessant in the fact that they do not believe they will get caught and if they can get away with it what harm is being done on their relationship. I know the answer is obviously a lot of harm but in their minds and in the minds of women that cheat for the same reason, cheating takes place because they believe they can get away with it.
Published by mike white
Any man with any worth has paid the price for the wisdom that guides him, the strength that sustains him and the hope that propels him. That is my bio...my mantra.... View profile
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10 Comments
Post a CommentI of course think of cheating just like everyone else. The reason I do is because lack of sex. It is not that I do not love my wife. We both work a lot and I understand that she is tired, but I get tired of the excuse. I do things with her and I help her clean the house. It gets extremely irratating when I have to beg or she shows absolutely zero initiative to want to have sex with me. I have talked to her about it before. I hate to say it, as much as I love her I might have to get a divorce.
Very simple...........men cheat because they are insecure...I didn't figure this out until I broke it off with the owner of a hottub store....who lost his wife to cancer and he was never there for her...I was told this by several friends of his....
I couldn't take his jealousy, insecurity, controlling, raging, behavior....
He always watched women...even though he looked older and was balding and looked at girls his daughters age....'These women didn't look at him...
so...did he cheat ...idk..i just know he was squirley, and quiet smetimes and would go on a ranting and raging if a guy checked me out....or he always told me ...guys are looking at you....and would go bolistic
I was in denial that the person I was with was not cheating. He had low self esteem issues because his mother abused him as a child...he was bitter and had something underlying inside of him against women. He cheated on me several times even though he told me we "connected" in bed. He has given me praise for making him feel good, but he can't stand the fact that I am more educated than him and earn more. This topic was brought up on different occassions. Nevertheless, the final straw came when I found hair on his pillow. He denied it at first saying it wasn't hair. Then he said it was my own, but my hair was not loose and in a braided style..the strain of hair was long and other pieces were mid-length. Then he said the "truth" was he let someone use his bed for money (his cousin)..and I was hurt and disgusted even more. we no longer speak but he is still trying to stay in my life...that was the straw that broke my back
In response to Gie Gie, first I would like to address the comment regarding you "killing yourself". Honey if the though has entered your mine, please seek some professional medical help. That is definitely not a healthly. Secondly, marriage is a sacred union between man and woman unto God. As long as he is still under that marriage covenant with his wife you will never win. If he marries you, Guess What??? He will also cheat or leave you. Sorry to sound so blunt but it's what it's the truth. To heal yourself Gie Gie, LOVE yourself completely and then LOVE will find you.
In response to GieGie
Hello, you answered the question yourself. Why are you dating a married man and expecting him to marry you in the first place? If he cheated on his wife with you what do you think your relationship will be anyway? And are you really serious about killing yourself over a man that was not yours in the first place? You need to seek professional help and figure out why you do not think you are worth more to than dating and living with a married man.
I have been dating a married man for four years within the second year his wife left him she found out he was cheating with me now we are living together and he has not divorce his wife so we can get married, he promise me next year every year, and it never happen. I love him dearly what can I do? I was going to lay in his bed and kill myself and write him a letter explaining why.
I want them to think that there is no such thing as an immoral act. I want them to think the singular purpose for dating is to keep the fun meter going. Only a moron thinks everything has to be fun all the time but I say lead them to the greener fields. When they reach 50, they hit the brick wall. Nobody wants the old prune, she is used up, tired and biologically dead. They are as useful as Communism is to industry. As for men, we own the universe. We are the captains of industry the inventors of all technology. The only way I would improve on what we have today is that I would initiate the draft again putting women into combat. It is wrong to treat men differently than women. Tee hee Tee hee... See no matter how you look at it, it's great to be king! My final word of advice to men is stop looking at women as if they are products of honor and enterprise. My final word for women is to measure everything on the fun meter and if it is no longer fun, go find fun somwhere else because you
Welcome to the idiocracy. Nobody wants to talk about it but here it is. 80 % of women are liberals. 70% fo men are conservatives. That leave at best 20% of women that have at least basic elemental intelligence necessary to keep up with the males. And oh yes, lets not forget that women generally get better grades in school than men (idiocracy school) but males demolish women in IQ globally. Like it or not males are much smarter than women and have two million years of evolution as kings of the jungle. With the odds as they are, it is a good thing to encougage women to cheat. Sex without ownership is a wonderful thing. Let me phrase it another way. It is better to own cars and boats than rights to a woman. So what if she has a bunch of kids from different guys, she is going to be the one stuck with them. So she votes the liberal line so she can get them all on welfare. This is a great social experiment. Women bought into the liberal line and I want them to swallow it all. I want them to
Makes sense ! Good job.
Great article. Very insightful.