Five Reasons Why People Become Bitter After Break-Ups

Breaking up in a romantic relationship is very rarely an easy thing to do. The idea of no longer being first in your significant other's life is a tough pill to swallow. Break-ups often leave people feeling dejected, lost and very often-angry. But there are all sorts of other reasons why people find themselves exceptionally bitter after ending a romantic affair.

Reason #1: Bruised Egos

Face it. Being told that your spouse or mate doesn't want to be involved with you anymore hurts like heck. On the flip side, human nature often dictates that people hate hurting others' feelings-which makes the "dumper" feel just as bad. But in general, when relationships don't work out, either one or both parties must deal with their fractured egos. If you've been with someone for a good deal of time, you may feel as if no one else will ever be able to see your worth. But this simply isn't true. In fact, an easy way to combat this feeling is to consider your last relationship. When it ended, you probably felt the way that you do now. This, in and of itself, is proof that falling in love can happen many times in one's lifetime.

Reason #2: Losing the Lover

If you have been maintaining an exclusive sexual relationship with your partner for a good deal of time, you are more than likely going to miss the special intimate connection that you have shared. The transition from "hot-and-heavy" to "null and void" can take some people years to adjust to. It is true that many freshly single people tend to jump into new sexual relationships quickly. But there is usually a period of trepidation involved, in which a person becomes nervous about engaging in new physical experiences. Will I find an equally pleasing lover? Will a new person find me sexually satisfying? These are just some of the worrisome questions that new singles ask themselves as they step back into the dating world.

Reason #3: Losing the Best Friend

People fail to realize that most romantic relationships are composed of two dynamics: the friend aspect, and the lover aspect. Most of the time, it can be difficult to divide these two dynamics when the romantic bond itself ends. Your mate or spouse has been privy to lots of confidential information. He or she has shared both your joys and woes. So it is very natural to feel as if you're losing your best friend when you go through a break up, because in a sense---you are. Certainly, there are instances where couples who have split can continue, and even strengthen their friendships. But this kind of dynamic shift usually requires lots of soul-searching, reciprocation, and perhaps even a great deal of time.

Reason #4: Losing Mutual Friends

You needn't be married to feel the sting of compromising additional friendships simply because you are no longer with your mate. When couples bond with other couples, or form friendships while in their union, it may seem that loyalties will become divided. You may no longer wish to associate with people who remind you of your ex, causing those friends to feel awkward and alienated. But it is very possible to keep the friends you have, without the awkwardness. Many divorced couples even maintain strong bonds with their former in-laws, despite their messy divorces. Only you and your mate can determine the best way to go about salvaging important friendships. One idea would be to coordinate the time you spend with your mutual buddies, while meeting in comfortable, yet neutral territory. The solution may sound primitive; but it's a start.

Reason #5: Entering the Dating Pool

Perhaps the main reason why people become bitter about ending a relationship is because they feel that their mate/spouse has "forced" them into the position of having to date again. Where married couples are concerned, this can be extremely difficult. If children happen to be involved, coordinating parenting duties sometimes serves to make matters worse. For any number of reasons, the idea of combing dating web sites, visiting bars, or being "fixed up" can be both ominous and irritating. It may even feel as if the entire world knows that you're "fresh meat" on the market---yet another deterrent from dating. The bitterness often sets in when people attempt to force another long-term relationship, only to have that one fail as well. But if you concentrate completely on doing the little things that make you happy, you will find people are naturally attracted to you because you seem at peace with yourself.