Five Relationship Lies in the Twilight Saga

Seriously though, the popular series of books and movies may leave you giddy (or nauseated, depending on your take) with its heavy dose of idealistic romance, but you must keep in mind that it is fiction.

I know what you're thinking, and I didn't even use my vampire powers to figure it out. You're telling yourself that, of course, you realize where the make-believe ends and what, if anything, you could actually take back to real life. Well, don't stop reading this yet.

Studies have shown that romantic films and literature leave people (men and women) with the wrong idea about what a healthy relationship should be like. Because Twilight is widely popular among women of all ages (ever hear of "Twilight Moms"?); because its target audience is impressionable; and because there are several Facebook pages, MySpace groups, blogs and more that label Edward, the main character's vampire love interest, as the ideal boyfriend, I decided it wouldn't hurt to address a few of the relationship issues that plague Twilight. Don't worry, diehard Meyer fans; this isn't an attack. It's more of a word of caution and some food for thought.

Without further ado, here are five of many relationship lies portrayed in Twilight.

1. Boys will make it all better. If you're having problems in life, the best advice Twilight gives a girl is to get a boyfriend. Don't bother working on your issues from the inside out. Instead, find someone to value over all others, including yourself, to make you feel good.

The reality: Happiness must first come from within.

Depending on a boyfriend (or anything else outside yourself) to make your problems go away will leave you on a painful emotional rollercoaster without a chance of achieving a real sense of satisfaction. People are unpredictable and aren't there to make you happy. Either he will cave under the pressure of being your "everything" and have to leave for his own mental stability, or you will take every mistake too personally and drive yourself nuts wondering why he doesn't love you the way you love him when, in actuality, he's just being human.

2. It's a good idea to put myself in constant temptation while attempting to remain abstinent. Whether you're abstaining from sleeping with a person or drinking their blood, according to Twilight, you should go out of your way to rub up against them at any time, have them around constantly and pretty much worship their physical features.

The reality: It's not easy to tell biology "no" when all outside information is saying "yes!!!"

If you do not want to have sex with a person for whatever reason, regular make-out sessions and focusing entirely on their "hotness" isn't going to make this goal easier. Yes, you're human and will occasionally engage in this, but doing it repetitively will have you rethinking your goals ("is it really THAT important to not sleep with him?") and keep you sexually frustrated. That's never fun and may result in later regrets.

3. It's okay to pine over an ended relationship for months to the point of depression. Hey, if you're in a fictional world where it's perfectly acceptable to make a person your only reason for happiness, then it's to be expected that when there's a break up, someone's going to fall into major depression.

The reality: This behavior is unhealthy

Break-ups happen; it's fine to feel sad about them, but living in a world of sorrow for an extended period of time has no benefit. I understand than many may actually have clinical depression, and if you get this bad after a boyfriend leaves, you should seek treatment and counseling to work on abandonment issues. Don't languish alone allowing the pain to grow worse. It's not going to repair the relationship or hurt anyone but you.

4. If I wait long enough, my love and I will get back together, so I shouldn't get with a new guy who treats me nice. Even if this new guy is often viewed as kinder than your absent boyfriend, in Twilight world, you should still hold out for the first guy. He'll be back, no doubt about that.

The reality: After a break-up, you should work on moving on, not holding on.

I'm not saying there is no possibility that you and your ex will get back together. I've witnessed my share of on again- off again relationships, believe me. I'm just saying that there is probably a good reason why the relationship didn't work out in the first place. If you see another potentially better prospect, give it a shot. This person may be the one with whom you find stability and real love. Would you really want to pass that up on the off chance that your ex may change his mind and return?

5. Obsession, stalking and jealousy are HOT traits in a boyfriend! Edward breaks into Bella's room at night to watch her sleep. How romantic! She's his preoccupation. So sweet! He forbids her from visiting her male friend. Wow. He must love her so much!

The reality: Danger! Dump this jerk!

If Edward were a real person, and he sabotaged Bella's car to keep her from visiting Jacob, you can bet a restraining order would be the next step. If your boyfriend is keeping you from friends, constantly needing to know where you are and is being possessive and controlling of you, it's not an act of love. It's an act of violence. Don't romanticize this. Tell someone!

There's nothing wrong with indulging in a romance novel like Twilight every once in awhile. Don't let it taint your idea of a healthy relationship, however. Drama in a book or film is important to keep the audience's attention. The same drama in real life can cause great harm. Just know where to draw the line between fiction and reality.

Additional Sources:

Are Romantic Movies Bad for You?

Top 20 Unfortunate Lessons Girls Learn from 'Twilight'

Misogyny in Popular Teen Literature?

'Twilight' Sucks... and Not in a Good Way