Five Rules for Surviving Life as a Military Spouse

Being the spouse of a member of the military is one of the hardest jobs a person can have. You give up having a permanent home because you move from post to post so often. You are alone a lot of the time, and you have to accept what the military plans for your spouse's life at a moments notice. You do not have a say or choice in the changes your life will go through.

But there are some rules for surviving as a military spouse. You have to learn to think differently from a civilian spouse, be flexible and accepting and you must learn to be very independent. The change is not an easy one, but anyone connected to a military personnel can learn how to survive a military lifestyle.

1. First you will have to learn to be flexible. You cannot plan for living conditions and your life long term in one place. You know you are going to move around so be prepared and plan you furnishings, hobbies, entertainment and career accordingly.

2. Do NOT let yourself think about all the "what if's". What if my other half is having an affair away from home, what if he/she is thinking of someone else, what if he/she leaves me without warning, what if he/she dies or becomes hurt. Stop it now! Even if you worried yourself sick thinking about the what if's they will happen or not happen no matter what. When your thoughts start to wander in this direction, change what you are thinking about. It's not a matter of trusting your spouse, it's a matter of trusting yourself.

3. Choose a career. You must learn to be independent. Choose something that can travel with you. The medical field, clerical, writing and reporting, computer tech or any one of a thousand other options. Don't wait around fearing the worst. When you have a career that moves with you you learn independence and money management. You learn to functions without constant help.

4. Accept that you are going to be in charge of many things. What has to be packed, shipped or stored by the military. How and when to find your own housing. How to finance your own move if you want to arrive before the military's plan for you. All your own medical records and any records for the children. All school records, legal documents and evacuation plans in an emergency.

5. You will have to be aggressive in finding out what the military has to offer in the way of help for a spouse. Learn how to use the Red Cross and what they will help you with. Talk to other spouses and find out about the local services available to military families. Check in with military Chaplin's. They help to provide information regarding spouses, available help and support groups you cannot get anywhere else. Join a support group, local military bible study or any other groups on the base. Everyone compares the available help and where to find it. The military will not volunteer it to you.

If you follow the above rules you have a start on surviving the lifestyle. When it all gets too overwhelming then seek counseling. Sometimes the military is not to sympathetic to spouses so you have to find your own path. Don't feel bad when you have a day of feeling sorry for yourself. Every person living as a military spouse goes through the same thing. As soon as you can just pick yourself up and carry on even if it means going to the doctor for medical help. It's not an easy job for anyone.