Their Sex Life-
This is probably the most important one of all to keep. What goes on between a man and a woman in the bedroom should between them and them alone. This is one of those things that should be sacred between a couple. Unfortunately nowadays it seems like couples are not only sharing their bedroom secrets with friends, on talk shoes, Internet sites; such as Facebook, MySpace, Twitter, and yes even with their older children. Sometimes even the younger children will be within hearing distance when the couple is talking about it on the phone with a friend, or possibly even when the couple is arguing loudly about it. Sexual intimacy between a couple is something special and should be kept that way, not discussed in an open forum for all to hear. Once the secrets get out. it can cause all types of problems from feeling embarrassed, to feeling disappointed in a spouse that shared such intimate details with others. Yes, their are unfortunately couples that brag about their sex life to others, and it doesn't phase them a bit. However, it would have to make you wonder why they feel to need to do this. Sex between two people who love each other is not a competition with other couples. What it should be is something special and private between those two individuals.
Finances-
Why anyone has the need either to brag or burden others with their financial situation is beyond me. This is something that could definitely backfire in a negative way. After all, don't you wish you hadn't told your friend, who is now no longer your friend that you're getting paid under the table, and not paying taxes. You better hope this ex-friend doesn't have it in for you and reports you to the IRS. You see, some secrets are best left private. Now all you have to worry about is if you make your spouse mad enough to tell!
Your Children's Secrets-
This can be the worst betrayal of all. Once children feel they have the guts to spill a really private secret to their parents the last thing they need is hearing from their best friend because you confided in the best friend's parents, and they let it slip to their kids. Children's secrets, especially if it's something their ashamed of, it needs to be kept just that, a secret between the two parents. It should never go further than that. If it does you risk your children never trusting, or believing in you again. Keep a tight lip, and respect your children's secrets.
Serious Personal Problems-
If your spouse is having difficulties with a serious personal problem don't drag out the megaphone and announce it to the whole world. If you feel you are having difficulty handling what's going on with your spouse seek out professional counseling, then you know what is said is respected, and will go no further. The last thing someone needs who is struggling with a serious personal problem is to hear about it at the PTA meeting, the gym, work, or any other place that could cause serious embarrassment either to that person, or the family. Sometimes what goes on between a couple, should just be for that couple only.
Some Major Life Decisions-
Some major life designs need to be kept just between the couple until the time Is right to either let the kids know, or any other important person in their life. For instance, if you and your spouse have decided to get a divorce. Don't be spreading it all over town with dozens of friends, chance are your kids will hear about it first from someone else instead of you. This can be quite devastating if the kids really had no idea what was going on. Contrary to popular belief, not all couples who get divorced are constantly screaming at each other or making it evident in some way that they will most likely not be staying married. Some couples just come to a very quiet decision that the marriage is no longer right for them and decide to get a divorce. In these types of homes, children may not have a clue anything is wrong. Make sure, anything major you decide on such as divorce, moving, changes of jobs that will change your lifestyle, elderly parents moving in with the family, or any other major decisions is kept between you and your spouse, so when the time comes, you will be telling the kids about it, and not someone else.
There you have it, five secrets that should be kept between you and your spouse. Some of these secrets should never be let out, and others it's just important to wait until the right time. In the end, you must be smart enough to know that which should be just between you and your spouse, either forever, or temporarily is just that, between the two of you and no one else!
Published by Hannah
I am a former child & family counselor, and now retired. I am proud to be a U.S Air Force Vietnam Era Veteran. I enjoy writing articles on Relationships, Dating, Marriage, Parenting and much more! I hope you... View profile
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1 Comments
Post a CommentGreat article. I have said these same things for years. Only regret can follow allowing too many others know your personal matters. If you feel you must talk to someone about these matters, find a confidential minister or therapist.