Five Signs of an Abusive Relationship

V.C. Higuera
1. Shows Signs of Jealously:

Jealousy is a natural emotion, and feeling a little envious is not a matter of serious concern. On the other hand, some people take jealousy to the next level, and don't want their spouse or significant other to talk or communicate with others, including family members. Additionally, the potential abuser may show signs of possessiveness, and accuse you of cheating or lying. For example, if you arrive home ten or fifteen minutes late, or if you don't answer a telephone call, a potential abuser is more likely to start a fight without valid reason.

2. Manipulation:

Abusers have mastered the art of manipulation. In other words, it's your fault that he or she lost their temper. Rather than recognize their shortcomings and make an effort to change, the abuser is more likely to displace blame, and make you accept the responsibility. Some emotionally abusive persons look for mates with reserved or docile personalities. Persons with a strong character are more likely to fight back and recognize manipulation.

3. Makes Disrespectful Remarks:

An abuser is often disrespectful. In fact, this can serve as a warning sign to family and friends. In most cases, you'll always be the brunt of the jokes. Other disrespectful actions might include putting you down in front of others, name calling, yelling, etc. Aggressive individuals are very slick. In the beginning, he or she may be extremely kind and caring. As the relationship progresses, the façade fades, and the true self is revealed.

4. Controlling Personality:

If a partner shows signs of a controlling personality - make a beeline for the door. Living with a controlling boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife is no picnic. These persons usually want your full undivided attention, and become angry if your focus is elsewhere. If another member of the opposite sex shows a little interest in you, the aggressive person may go into a rage and cause a huge commotion. In extreme cases, the controlling partner limits the other's activities, wherein they can't do anything or go anywhere alone.

5. Do They Have an Abusive History?

If your mate has a history of abusive behavior, carefully re-think the relationship. People are capable of change, and there's nothing wrong with giving an abuser a second chance. Nevertheless - be careful. Take the relationship slow, and don't discount signs of a potential relapse. The longer you stay with an abusive partner, the harder it is to let go.

Published by V.C. Higuera

Freelance personal finance and health writer from Chesapeake, VA  View profile

4 Comments

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  • ME8/10/2010

    If they hit you once, it won't stop there! And it'll continue getting worse. Get out of the relationship before its too late. I almost didn't make it, but I am here for my kids and he just got 25 years!

  • anonymous again10/2/2007

    you are not sorry... you are just full of it. so take your pity party elsewhere.

  • mila10/1/2007

    once you're out of jail.

  • mila10/1/2007

    well at least you're admitted to yourself that you were wrong. just don't keep doing it once you're at of jail

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