Five Simple Ingredients for a Proper Remake of 'The Exorcist'

One of my all-time favorite horror films is "The Exorcist"---a film that still manages to scare viewers multiple decades later. Hollywood loves reviving old movies, especially scary ones. But when the remakes are released, sometimes they end up completely watered down---veritable glimmers of the films they're based on. Even though additional "Exorcist" movies exist, no one has dared take on the gargantuan challenge of remaking the 1973 original. But if some amazing director ever got the inkling to try, here are some definite instructions he/she should follow.

First and foremost, casting directors must hire one authentic 12 year-old girl. And yes, it absolutely has to be a 12 year-old, 13 or 14 years old, tops. None of those "youthful looking" 25 year-old starlets dressed in OshKosh B'Gosh. Actress Linda Blair was a young teen when she tackled this difficult role. Thus, a bona fide child is what this film remake requires.

One of the great things about "The Exorcist" is the creepy build-up from the beginning of the movie. A quick jaunt in the desert, a benign Ouija board session, and the introduction of multiple characters are all part of this movie's unbelievable tension. Hollywood is known for getting to the punch rather quickly in some films. That simply would not do for this horror remake.

Take it easy on the special effects.

The 1973 original movie certainly had its fair share of special effects. But compared to today's cinematic technology, those effects are practically non-existent. Filmmakers would be hard-pressed to restrain themselves when applying make-up and camera tricks. We don't need CGI projectile vomit. And the dream sequences are just fine without lots of computerized fanfare. In fact, the more subtle the effects, the scarier the production.

Don't deviate from the plan.

One of the problems I have with book and movie remakes are the liberties that filmmakers sometimes take with the story line. "Pet Sematary" completely removed Norma's character from the film version. Other movie remakes have incorporated changes that differed greatly from their originals. "The Exorcist" is the type of horror film that should contain no variations from its original storyline.

Keep it retro, please.

This is perhaps one of the biggest points of contention I have with an "Exorcist" remake. Sometimes in an effort to polish up an old classic, directors will choose to modernize the production. The story would be ruined with cell phones, iPads, or any device that requires a USB cord. We need those bell-bottoms and that horrible wallpaper in Chris and Regan's Washington, D.C. abode. This is definitely one horror story that is better served by the charm of the 1970's lifestyle.

SOURCES:

www.movies.yahoo.com