Five Statements Men Make that Women Must Believe

So here is how the story goes, you meet him and he is wonderful. Everything is just rose petals and smiles. You really like this guy. As women often do, you start looking ahead to the future. You may wonder what your relationship with him might be like a year from now or you may even start to wonder if he is THE ONE.

Then the bomb hits. You heard it straight from his mouth. You see ladies for the most part; men are very simple to understand. They usually don't have a problem in "Telling you like it is, at least the honest ones don't". However, it is a truth and this is it. A man will let you know where he is at in life. It is as simple as that. For a woman to think otherwise about the man she is dating is plain foolish on her part.

Back years ago when I came to this realization, a friend would ask me about a relationship that I was in that went sour or something to that effect.

She would ask me, "Why did you stay?" or " Why this or that", my answer was a quick, "Por Pendeja! That's why!"

Por pendeja translates to, "I was being stupid!" I said it in a joking manner but I meant it. Because for me to think that a man will deter from what he has already demonstrated to me, as his intention is stupid. That is why I am all the smarter now. Wink.

So what are these five statements that a man says that a woman should believe, you ask?

Some of you will not like this. However, it is right in your face. Thank goodness, it does not happen to all the woman, quite a few women out there much wiser. Now if this has happened to you, do not feel bad. I am not calling you stupid or foolish. I am saying that you are making the wrong decision not believing this man and I am saying this to save you additional turmoil and heartache. Some of you will think, "Duh! Like I don't already know that!" and I want to tip my hat to you if you think this. You see if you know this then the battle is half won and I am sure you are in a loving, healthy relationship with a man who is lucky to have you.

So here they are.

1. I just want to be friends.

You and this guy have really hit it off. You like the same things, you share the same taste in many interests, you flow, you connect, but he has never made a move on you, he has never hinted that he would like to move to a different level. Chances are very high that after thoughtful consideration this guy has determined that as great as you are, this is as far as it will go.You may respond, "He sure acts like he likes me for something more than just a friend. Maybe he is shy or something," at least that is how you hope to rationalize this. Women, tell me this. When you are meeting, talking to or being asked out by a man, you KNOW rather quickly if you want to take things further with him within a few minutes of meeting him right? Well for men it is probably more like 45 seconds. Now if you two have been friends for say almost a year or longer and he has never mentioned to you that he has other feelings for you, what exactly do you think he is waiting for?What about those shy guys that are afraid of rejection?

Well they are out there. Question, do you really want a man that is not confident enough in him to go after what he wants? We are talking about men here right. Men were born to pursue. Thousands of years ago, they were warriors; they went after what they wanted. Just look around your circle of friends and think for a moment how your friends who are couples ended up together. Who chased whom?

I am not saying to play games here. I am not saying don't let your 'male friend' know that you think he is great. Just remember if you throw out the bait and he does not bite, he is probably not the guy for you.He may even tell you up front, "Hey, I think you are great, I mean really cool and all but I just want to be friends". Women please if you hear this coming out of his mouth, MOVE ON.

Why am I saying this? I am saying this because I know from experience that you can literally waste time, lots of time holding out for that one man you think would be perfect for you. In addition, you will wait forever if he has a different opinion on this issue.

Now why would you want to do that ladies? Especially when you can make yourself available to a man who could think you are his cotton candy and the only one he can think about all the time?I would go for guy # 2 in a heartbeat. Who has time to piddle around anyway in this fast-paced world?

2. I don't want kids

I think the worse, absolutely WORSE thing a woman can do is have a child by a man who does not want to be a father. We have more single mom out there (there are single dads too, I know this) who are living a very difficult life playing the role of "mommy/daddy" and it is just not fair to you as a woman and it is not fair to the child you bring into the world who may never know his/her dad. I say this because I am a single mom (not for that reason, but single parenting is tough on everyone)Now I want to point out this is more specific to the woman who will fake taking her birth control pills in order to get pregnant on purpose. It is manipulative and so wrong. Don't do it ladies. If you want to have a baby so bad you ought to try the sperm bank, at least there you can shop around.

3. I am not a 'nice' guy.

I met a guy and I know I have written about him before. He was "wow!" He stood over six feet tall; he was in the military and just gorgeous. We talked non-stop for a few weeks and had plans to meet once he was back in the country. I thought great! Well about a week later, I did not hear from him and then one day he gets me online and tells me he wants to talk on the phone, and before I could give him my number he told me he was here in town, he wanted to surprise me. I was surprised all right. I was excited, flushed, nervous and giddy like a high school girl who had the attention of the football quarterback. We talked and made plans to meet that night. It was one of my favorite first date experiences ever because I really liked him.

There was one problem. He said it. I was complimenting him telling him what a nice guy I thought he was and he shook his head and mumbled, "No, I am not a nice guy". I was shocked at first but it couldn't be true! I thought at the time that he was just joking. I realized after two more dates that he was not. He wasn't really a bad guy except he lacked respect for women and that is a 'no-no' in my book.

However, I will be honest, it was hard to give him up because I liked him that much, but I knew better by then. So, I told him it was not going to work out between us. You want to know something else. It took a few weeks to get over it as I had not been involved with anyone for a while and when you have gone through a dry spell ladies chopped beef starts to look like steak, but when you take a bite out of it, you just know it really is chopped beef.

4. I am not ready to settle down.

You may be in a relationship with a man right now. Things may seem to be in a standstill. I will tell you that as soon as woman sits her man down to have that "Where is this relationship going?" talk, it's about as good as over. Maybe he is busy trying to get his life in order. Maybe he is not ready to take that step. If you have to call him on it, it's likely that this guy really is as he saying. NOT READY. Men ready to commit are like babies learning to walk. They will do it when they are ready. There really is no need to try to move things along. You could in fact push him away if you put the pressure on. The truth is, when a man is ready he will let you know. I think so after my experiences and dealing with men as friends. They have told me. I have two friends of mine that when they found the woman of their dreams, they did not hesitate, and they did not sit on it. They went and married her. When I asked them what is was about that particular woman that made them decide that wanted to marry her, they told me "I like who I am when I am with her", "She just does it for me". I know what I am telling you ladies and guys please speak up if I am wrong.

When a guy is ready to commit, he will show you a ring, he may or may not get on his knees but he will ask you to be his forever. Men are competitive and they will more than likely want to snatch you up before some other guy beats him to it.

5. I am not going to change.

This is the classic one. Everyone should know this but many still do not. When you meet a man and you two start dating, the way he is, how he spends his time will probably stay this way for years to come. I can tell you why I know this. I married one.

All I am really saying is when you meet a man take him as he is. If you can't take him as he is, then it is unfair to both you and him to continue with this relationship.

I am not talking about compromise, which is a necessity in any healthy loving relationship. I am talking about patterns. We are creatures of habit and if a man is on the road to personal growth, he will change what he needs to change for himself. You have nothing to do with it so get that out of your mind no matter how great of a woman you are. People do not change people. People can only change themselves. Love does not have to be so complicated. We tend to complicate it more than is needed. If a man has said any of these statements to you, here is a suggestion. Believe him and you could save yourself a lot of heartache.