Five Steps to Getting Over a Relationship

Tips for Making a Break-up Easier to Bear

JB Robbins
Breaking up is never easy to do, no matter how long or short a time you were together. While some people seem to get over a break up before they cross the street, other people need a little bit more time to get over a relationship. If you feel that you are struggling with a break-up and just can't seem to get over it, then try these 5 steps to getting over a relationship.

Getting Over a Relationship Step No. 1: Understand Why the Relationship Didn't Work

This step is going to give you insight into why the relationship didn't work. For example, you wanted different things in life, you had different ideologies or you needed more attention or affection then your partner was willing to give you. To complete this step you need to be honest with yourself.

Getting Over a Relationship Step No. 2: Stop Interacting with Your Ex

This is a step you will have to forego if you have children with your ex. However, if no children are involved and you break up, then stop talking with, hanging out with them and generally interacting with your ex. This will give your heart and brain the time they need to distance themselves from your perceived need to be with your ex. During this step you will want to get rid of, or at least hide, items like photographs of your ex and gifts that they gave you. Again this is to help you distance yourself from them and their memory and to give your mind the chance to focus on a new relationship.

Getting Over a Relationship Step No. 3: Focus on What You Want in a Partner

The next step is to really focus on what you want in a partner. Create a list of qualities that you are looking for in your perfect match. While you can list physical traits that you are attracted to, try to focus more on internal qualities like personality, philosophies on life and values that the person has.

Getting Over a Relationship Step No. 4: Get Back on the Horse

One reason why it usually takes women longer to get over a relationship than men is because they wait longer before socializing again. One of the best ways to get over a relationship is to simply explore the possibility of new relationships. While you probably don't want to rush into a serious relationship right after your break up or divorce, you do need to get your mind back into the searching mode.

Getting Over a Relationship Step No. 5: Forgive Your Ex

One of the most liberating experiences you can have is to forgive your ex for their faults in your past relationship. This will not only help you to move on, but it will also release their hold on your perception of new partners. Nothing is less attractive than a person who is bitter and who projects the faults of their past partners on every new prospect that they meet.

Published by JB Robbins

Former teacher and psycholotherapist, author, parent and grandmother. Mission statement: Open the door for others to experience their greatness.  View profile

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