Five Steps to Take to Save Your Marriage

Is your marriage in a place where you're not sure if you and your spouse will make it work? Is divorce lingering in the back of your mind or even being tossed around in conversation? If so, now is the time to act quickly! You can save your marriage, no matter how battered it may be. This is 2009...it's ok to fight for your marriage and family! So, get to work!

5 Steps To Take To Save Your Marriage

1)Communication

If you think your relationship is headed South, the first thing you MUST do is sit down and talk with your spouse about how you're feeling and how they're feeling. If you find you both get defensive or upset when talking, schedule an appointment with a therapist to lead you through the discussions. Many times talking it out with an expert can help you both stay calm and rational. Be sure you don't talk about what the other person is or isn't doing and instead just voice how you are FEELING in general. This important first step can help you and your spouse set up a communication level you'll need to be successful as you rebuild your marriage.

2)Plan Of Action

After talking about your needs and the needs of your spouse, you both need to come up with a plan of action. This plan of action might include setting a standing Tuesday night date night each week or include stopping any activity which may be wrecking havoc on your marriage (possibly your weekly girls' out night or his weekly poker night) for a while. When you have a plan of action written out and agreed upon, both parties are more likely to stay focused on the future (not the past) and move forward toward success.

3)Following Through

Of these five steps, this step seems to be the most difficult for married people to accomplish. Once your plan of action is created, you must follow through with it. If you and your spouse chose to set a Tuesday night date night each week you must ensure that no matter what, the date occurs weekly. If you agreed to give up your individual nights out each week, don't backtrack on it and stick to the plan. You can always add them in later on, after your relationship gets under control but right now your main focus should not be your friends, but your spouse and your family.

4)Acts Of Love

While you're going through the motions of the first three steps, it's important to add in Acts of Love. These acts don't need to be expensive or elaborate but shoot for showing your spouse 1,000 Acts of Love each month. Small things like offering to cook dinner, doing the dishes or picking up the dry cleaning count and won't go unnoticed! This is an important part of the process, as you need to remember how you did things when you first started dated and falling in love.

5)Establishing Respect

As you go through this process of saving your marriage it's important to re-prioritize your life. There is only one thing you need for a successful marriage: Respect. If you have respect for one another, all other things will just fall into place without effort. So, work on building respect with one another. If you're not sure how to do this, try this tip. When thinking about doing something (going out with your buddies, flirting at work, spending a lot of cash on something) be sure to consider if your act would make your spouse angry or upset. If it possibly would, it's not worth your time...walk away! This is a great way to live your life, as you can ensure you're always making the best decision for your marriage.

While most people feel you should do everything in your power to save your marriage, there are a few instances where divorce might be the healthiest option for you or your spouse.

When saving your marriage might not be the best idea:

1)Your spouse is physically, emotionally or verbally abusive.
2)Your spouse has an addiction problem they refuse to seek treatment for.