Five Things to Do for Your 30th Birthday

For some reason I used to think that thirty was a magic number. I remembered how worldly wise the characters on the show "Thirty Something" seemed. I couldn't wait to attain that level of adulthood.

I was sure that I would wake up a wine sipping sweater wearing, philosophical intellect sharing some cool jazz with my old friends who stood in awe of the first draft of my great American novel.

Don't let turning thirty get you down. Thirty isn't old, it's cool. You can have just as much fun turning thirty as you did when you turned 18. And it will be legal this time! Just read on. I've got the low down on the hoe down.

Five Things To Do On Your Thirtieth Birthday

1- Get a tattoo. You know you always wanted to. Don't be afraid it will hurt. You're gonna get drunk anyway today so you may as well meander into that tattoo parlor and get that ink. But get in an inconspicuous place. You still have to command respect at your job from the younger people.

2- Visit a Retirement Home. Eventually, you're going to end up either there or on a heat grate in the subway. No, seriously, spend your birthday cheering up someone who needs it. Take a tin of cookies with you and give them out. Those smiles will be the best birthday present you'll ever receive.

3-Treat yourself to a day at the spa. Get yourself wrapped, massaged, manicured, steamed, exfoliated and bronzed. You'll feel ten years younger at the end of the day. Isn't that what you want?

4- Go visit your mother. She was there on the day you landed on this planet. Do you know a better person to share this momentous occasion with you? And besides, you'll be the youngest one in the room. Keep that in mind.

5-Take your best pals to a History Museum with you. Walking among the relics and the artifacts of ancient civilization will boost your energy and put turning thirty right into perspective. Because compared to a reconstructed stegosaurus, you're a mere infant.

Now go out and have some fun. Thirty isn't the new sixty. You've got plenty of time to enjoy your youth. So grab a raspberry Cosmo and watch a few episodes of Sex and The City. If them ole gals can run around enjoying themselves, so can you!