Five Things All Expectant Moms Should Know About Newborns

No matter how much a person has been around babies, they are still remarkably unprepared when it comes to having a newborn of their very own. That's what I've been told, anyway. I avoided babies like the plague whenever I could. They always seemed to have something gross dripping out of one end or another, and they screamed a lot. No thank you.

So I did what any other self-respecting baby-avoider would do: I had one of my very own. Imagine, if you will, how horribly lost I felt holding this tiny new life in my arms for the first time. I had never, not even once, held a newborn before. I realized, with a very sick feeling in the pit of my stomach, that I was clueless. Very, very clueless.

What I learned those first few days:

1. Newborns are tiny, wiggly, bendy, noisy. My milk came in on the second night after having him, and he was a total piggy about it. He ate too much and promptly threw up. My panicked husband (also pretty clueless about baby things) ran, yes RAN, down the hall to tell the nurses that something was terribly wrong with him. Would you believe they laughed at him?!? The nerve! Those weird long-sleeved shirts with attached mittens? Yeah, not so easy to take off. Between the two of us, though, we finally got him all changed and cleaned up. I'm still not sure why the hospital let him go home with two such pathetically inept parents.
2. Newborns don't always know what they want. And you will feel helpless. Imagine for a second what it must feel like for them, being in a place where they felt no hunger or thirst, saw little light, heard only muffled noises, and felt only warm softness around them. Then they are suddenly thrust into a world with glaring lights all around them, loud noises, cold air, scratchy blankets and clothes ... it's no wonder they cry. Feed them, change them, hold them, snuggle them, wrap them in a blanket, and then do it all over again. Your baby will settle down once you, and s/he, have hit on just exactly what it is they need. And better yet, within mere days, your baby will start to figure it out, crying differently for different needs, and you will learn each cry, making your response and fix-it times drop dramatically.
3. Newborns are ugly. I swear, I just heard a collective horrified gasp from every mother and mother-to-be reading this. But they are, and any mom who's willing to look deep within her soul is going to realize it's true. When mine first came out, I saw with a shock that his head was bizarrely shaped. Of course, it probably had something to do with the fact that he was stuck inside me for four hours while I pushed, but still! He looked awful! Thankfully, once his head rounded out a bit, he was clean and dry, nestling into me for warmth and comfort and food, I realized he was as beautiful as I'd hoped he'd be. I'm sure I was the only one who thought so, but I'm the only one whose opinion counted anyway, right?
4. Moms don't always fall in love at first sight with their newborns. This is a dirty secret of motherhood, and it shouldn't be. I felt an all-encompassing warmth of soul when I first met my children, but a dear mom friend of mine confessed to me in a shamed voice that she did not. It took her weeks to truly fall in love with her baby. And that's ok. She did eventually fall in love with her, and she adores her to this day. Her child doesn't know the difference, and neither does anyone else. You see, even if we don't feel the love we think we should, we still have a profound mothering instinct to care for our young. (in moms with PPD, one symptom may be rejection of your newborn, so if you don't even want to care for your baby, please call your OB as soon as possible!).

5. Once your newborn arrives, your life will be irrevecobly changed. You will never be able to go anywhere without thoughts of your baby cropping up in your mind. You will worry about them when they are out of sight, you will wonder if they are bunded up properly at recess, you will worry grandma is spoiling them every time she's with them, you will feel righteous indignation every time anyone looks even the tiniest bit askance at your perfect angel. According to my mom, it's a feeling that lasts forever. You will never be the woman you used to be. And you know what? You won't ever want to go back to being that woman, either.