Five Things Not to Assume About Parents with One Child
Someone once told me that you're not a parent until you've had two children. While the woman wasn't trying to offend me in any way, I realize that some people could have taken her comment the wrong way. Now, as a parent of two kids, I can reflect on some of the assumptions made about parents with one child.
5. They don't want another child.
I know at least 10 couples who have struggled with infertility and miscarriage. Likewise, while some people are able to have one child, the second child might not come as easily. Thus, it's important to remember that some people can't conceive as easily as others. We need to be sensitive to these situations and not ask everyone: When are you planning on having a second child? This question can be uncomfortable for some to answer.
4. Their child is spoiled.
I realize that some think children without siblings are spoiled. However, I personally think any child can be selfish or spoiled. My daughter was an only child for three and a half years. We often had other kids over to play so she learned how to share her toys with others. Any child can become spoiled. It's all about how we raise our kids and not always about how many siblings they have.
3. They are over-protective because they only have one.
I think everyone is a little more cautious with their first child. However, if a parent wants to hover a little, that is their business. Sometimes, I see parents get angry when other parents are "too-careful" with their offspring. However, this is more of a parenting stereotype. I know one-child parents that are very laidback and parents with three children who hover too much.
2. They have it easy.
I often hear my friends say that one-child parents have it easy. Sure, one child may be less time consuming than two or three. However, that doesn't mean the parent has it easy. When my daughter turned three, she was quite a handful. Additionally, some parents have kids with special needs. Sometimes, entertaining one child can be difficult because they don't have siblings to play with.
1. It's okay for them to watch your kids.
Simply because someone has one child, doesn't mean they want to watch other people's children. When I had one child, I had people I hardly even knew ask me to babysit their kids. Even worse were the people who left their children unsupervised because they thought I would automatically watch them. It's fine to ask but not okay to assume.
In the end, we are all parents. It doesn't matter if we have one or ten kids.
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Published by Melissa Matters - Featured Contributor in Lifestyle
Melissa is a Stay at Home Mom with a BA in writing, CA teaching credential and a Masters in Education. She has taught many levels of education and loves writing. Also, dear to her heart are her faith, fam... View profile
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4 Comments
Post a CommentIndeed, these are such myths! I have one son and he was a miracle, besides being smart, handsome, laid-back, and polite. Best to let people run with their assumptions. Just goes to show you how little they know.
Excellent article. Hopefully people will heed and be a little more compassionate and not be quick in making assumptions.
People have so many assumptions where children are involved, don't they? I would have been offended too if I had been expected to supervise other people's children without being asked! My husband and I chose not to have any children, but within a year of our marriage, I had relatives advising that we "see a doctor". It was presumptuous of them to assume that we were battling with infertility, rather than making a conscious decision to remain as we were.
Sophie
Great points! Enjoyed your other articles as well:) Very informative.