If a guy cheats on his steady girlfriend; partner or wife; he is not the guy for you. If he uses you to cheat on his girl, most likely he will cheat on you. Some men are cheaters just because they can and you allow them to do so. If you are dating a cheater, you really don't have anyone. There is no reason for anyone to cheat; it is only for their own personal pleasure. Don't accept excuses. Send the cheater packing. It doesn't matter if you didn't know he was married or had a steady girl or live-in partner, as soon as you find out, send him packing. No, it probably won't be easy and you will probably hurt for a while, don't take the easy way out, do what you know is right. If you are the other woman and he has ties with someone else, you really don't have him anymore than the woman he is cheating on. My theory is a man who cheats has one love "HIMSELF"
An Abusive Guy:
If you know a guy abused his former girlfriend or spouse and that guy asks you for a date, your answer is NO. He may say she pushed him to the limit, or she asked for it, and he will never hit you. He wouldn't hit you if you don't give him the chance. Accept no excuses as to why a man hit or abuse a woman. There are no excuses. You don't need or deserve any man who will abuse you physically or verbally. If a guy raises his hand to you, girl, you don't need that. Get away from him as fast as you can. Same goes for a guy who verbally abuses you. You don't need him. It's a control thing. Yes, he will keep saying he is sorry or he didn't mean it. If you know a guy is a woman abuser, he is not a good dating choice.
Guys On The Rebound:
Guys on the rebound are not a good choice for dating. If he has recently broken up with a girl friend or recently got a divorce; he needs time to work out his ill feelings that he had toward the former girlfriend or spouse. You don't want a guy to bring unsolved problems to the relationship. You don't want a man to bring any left over baggage to the relationship. If a man is on the rebound; maybe you need to steer clear of that relationship. Give him time to heal the wounds from the prior relationship.
Dead Beat Dad:
If a guy doesn't pay child support or neglect children from a former relationship, you don't need him. When a couple breaks up and children are involved, the children are still the responsibility of both parents. If a man says he doesn't pay child support because "she won't let me see my kids" that's bull. He can go to family court and demand his rights. If he says "she will just use my money on some other man," that's bull. She still pays rent or house note, buy the children clothes, feed them and take care of other expenses that comes with raising kids. If a man wants to see his kids, he can go to court and fight for his rights. Meanwhile, his kids need food in their stomach and clothes on their backs.
A lazy, Non-Working Man:
Many people are out of work because of the economy. Many people use the economy as an excuse not to work. So many working men have lost their jobs because of the economy, people are losing their homes; it's hard times. There are those who want to work but just can't find a job and there are those who don't try to find a job because they are lazy and don't want to work. Even though they haven't worked for years and lived with mama and papa, they are using the economy as an excuse for why they never worked. There is a difference between a working man who is in between jobs and lost his job because of the economy and a lazy bum who finds it easier to bum off the family and don't want to work. Separate the two. You want to date a man not carry a man.
Published by Mary E. Coe
I write articles, songs, poetry, short stories and stageplays. Some of my writings are fictitious and some are fact based. In the Spring of 1993, some of my poems were published in the library at Citrus Col... View profile
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7 Comments
Post a CommentVery interesting! The rebound thing is a little iffy. How long it takes to recover from losing a mate or a sweetheart varies. How much does this person really know their own mind and how much do they know about letting go and moving on from a bad relationship? Something I have encountered with some of my women friends is that immediately following the death of a spouse, they will saddle themselves with an expensive car or an expensive house. No one should make major decisions at a time like that.
Men who have abused never admit it. If you try to warn his latest flame, she will not believe you. There are red flags, some so subtle they can be missed. Abusive people can be very charming which makes it difficult to reconize them until after you are hooked.
I resolved not to date any type of guy! The cheating guy (or gal) is not always true. Some stray when something is not right in a relationship; the correct thing to do, of course, is fix the relationship. I know some men who cheated, then married and stayed with the new wife for life.
True, True, True
Good advice. I had a friend that dated a married man. I told her there were only two outcomes. The first is that he never remains with her but stays with his wife. The second was worse, he divorces his wife and marries her. Then she has a man that cheats on his wife.
Excellent advice here!
Well said!