Flame War

/FourFiftyOne\

WE'RE PRETTY MUCH ALL SEMI-LITERATE.

Thread 1: From May 4, 2008 -Sept. 10, 2008_____________________________________

EeyoreGuy: It's clear from my connection to Morrissey's lyrics

That I know more about suffering than anyone.

Meat is murder!

Neckbeard: While I agree that listening to any amount of Morrissey is a form of suffering, Seriously dude...seriously. Don't come back here till you're a starving Nigerian. Riddled with AIDS.

Fourth nipple: So what suburb do you hail from? Might you be from Whiteyville, or Emo Springs?

Hairy Palmer: You're a fat virgin fag. That is why you suffer. It needed to be said.

Level80Paladin: I wanna kill a cow right in front of you just to watch you cry.

EeyoreGuy: I never said I suffered. I just said I know more about it. It's like I have the secret to life, and I would've let you pasty-faced neckbeards in on it too. But you all blew it. Asses.

Oh, and if you eat meat you're a filthy human being. In fact, anything even remotely cooked or prepared should be outlawed.

And for the record, I'm not a fag. There's a girl at my school and I know she loves me.

Hairy Palmer: You can only possibly know this if she's banging you. Seeing as you're a fat virgin fag, this cannot logically be the case. Xfd.

Neckbeard: I kinda wish you weren't such a lonely virgin fag, so that you would just get AIDS. Stfu and die.

Kaiser Wilhelm: To all you trolls: really, lonely virgin fag? Guys, come on, Pot meet Kettle. To EeyoreGuy: fourth nipple has a point actually. Listening to The Smiths doesn't qualify you as an authority on life.

EeyoreGuy: Ok, well maybe...but first of all who asked any of you?? Secondly, I'm an authority on life because I've been there man. I've seen stuff. I've read a lot of poetry. How much poetry have you read? I'll go toe to toe with you any day on Lord Byron, buddy. Any FUCKING day.

Faucet hanger: The magical places World of Warcraft has taken you doesn't qualify as "seeing life".

EeyoreGuy: Ok, you know what, I could face any of you guys in hand to hand combat, because I have 2 things on my side. God, and the love of a good woman.

Kaiser Wilhelm: Woah there, I was only trying to help. Nice reasonable reaction.

Fourth nipple: How OLD are you, like 14? And k, like, really, first you bring on the faggotry by bringing up Morrissey, then you bring poetry into the mix. And now God. It's like, why do you keep coming here if you know you're gonna get shat on by everybody. Or do you seriously not see how this works?

Neckbeard: Since when do Morrissey and Jesus go together?

EeyoreGuy: Morrissey and Jesus are like, pretty much the same. Duh.

God is everywhere. In Morrissey too. I feel his power....

Hairy Palmer: You and Jesus are totally gay for each other

Neckbeard: There can't be a God as long as Nickelback is a presence in the world.

EeyoreGuy: If by gay you mean enthusiastic, in a state of love and peace...then yes, I am gay for Jesus.

Level80Paladin: God is in me too then, eh? Zapp! I just froze you. You cannot speak. Just listen as I tell you that your God made my cheeseburger.

EeyoreGuy: Haha, nice try, but God favours the righteous (me) Go choke on your heart-attack sandwich.

Ugh, people, you don't need these processed foods. We can easily live off of dandelions. They grow in any climate. And they cure cancer. J

Level80Paladin: YOU CANNOT SPEAK. ZAPP.

EeyoreGuy: Ok, I'm 17. One. Two, as I have stated repeatedly, I'm not gay because of Charlene. She and I were made for each other. I just wish she'd dump that overly tanned Guido linebacker and see that she was meant to be my Mary Magdalene.

Fourth Nipple: So, in this scenario, you're Jesus, and you're fighting an oiled, burly Italian guy for what is rightfully your prostitute. Also, in this scenario, the love of your life is a prostitute. Seems like a pretty bad idea but ok.

Chronus Masturbatus: Pimp gotta keep his 'ho in line. Smack that bitch up fool! You gotz the Jesus powersss! I bet you're a secret rapist.

Faucet Hanger: Why does this thread keep getting so many hits?

Hairy Palmer: Cause it's fun to troll fat virgin fags.

Btw, you ( I mean YOU EeyoreDick) could NOT, EVER, face me in combat. From the sounds of it, you resent athleticism and could not possibly possess the upper body strength required to land a simple hook. Whereas I could easily mess your face up. You know how many reps I do? So many I lost count. I'm doing some now. Don't push me, or I'll break you.

Chronus Masturbatus: hahahahHAHAHAHa you're GAY for jesus!!! Lollerskates.

Neckbeard: You know, I've never noticed you refute being a fat virgin. I guess that part's true. How does a fatty become so fat off of dandelions. Btw, nice science. Of course, dandelions grow in any climate. Even in the arctic. Just look at all those polar bears feasting on dandelion salad. Sigh, let's see some statistics bro.

EeyoreGuy: GODDAMIT! I am NOT fat! I am NOT a fag, and as soon as I kill that SOB boyfriend of hers, Charlene will recognize my greatness. Nay, you'll all see it. I don't need you're foolish, human stats with God on my side. I don't need to prove anything to you neckbeards. You'll see!

Thread 2: From Oct. 20, 2008-Dec. 6, 2008.________________________________

EeyoreGuy: God is dead, and the world is an empty shell.

I only listen to Nietzsche now.

Faucet Hanger: What ever happened to Morrissey?

Hairy Palmer: And like Nietzsche, you're a virgin asshole douchebag.

Kaiser Wilhelm: The Guido kicked the crap outta you, didn't he?

And just what the hell do you know about Nietzsche?

EeyoreGuy: I know that he understood that God was dead. Which he clearly is since he couldn't even defend me. Nietzsche is my God now. Morrissey is still Jesus. Actually, he's better than Jesus. I should be celibate like him...

Hairy Palmer: Wouldn't have to change much from what you're doing now. Xfd.

Faucet Hanger: Morrissey has better hair than Jesus.

Fourth Nipple: Really? I prefer that scruffy Eric Clapton in Cream look. More manly.

EeyoreGuy: GUYS! Could we redirect the focus to me? I'm having a crisis here. I need you guys.

Faucet Hanger: So I guess you showed us huh?

EeyoreGuy: It was going fine. I was standing my ground until that BITCH broke my spirit. What a whore.

Level80Paladin: So wait.....what? I'm actually down to hear what happened.

Neckbeard: DOUCHE! Why did you give him an outlet?

Level80Paladin: He already has one.

Neckbeard: I bet you're bum buddies with him. You asshole.

Level80Paladin: K go away then. No one wants you here.

EeyoreGuy: K so I went to the football field after school. He was there, practicing with his team. She was warming up with the cheerleading crew. I went over there. I was tough, manly, smelling of Dior for Men (how could she resist?)....I tapped that oily meat bag on the tricep while he was resting and said "I challenge you to a duel, for the sake of honour, and for the love of your woman!" He turned, looked, and...all of a sudden....I can't say it. It's too painful. Ugh...THAT WENCH!

Fourth Nipple: So you went over there reeking of Euro-sex and objectified her in front of her boyfriend. How could she resist indeed!

Level80Paladin: Come on...tell us. I promise we won't make fun of you. J

EeyoreGuy: You guys promise? Cause I'll only tell if you promise.

Level80Paladin: Pinky swear bro.

EeyoreGuy: Mmkay. Well, he turned, and he looked past me. I was flummoxed until he said "Babe, could you kindly escort Don Juan outta here?" She looked at me with some kind of fiery fierce fury, and all of a sudden, without warning, I was surrounded by the bulkiest cheerleaders you ever saw. Charlene, the light of my life, and now the bane of my very existence, said to me "Stop following me, creep." I was so overcome by grief and shock that when she punted me out of the field, I could scarcely move a muscle in my own defense.

Chronus Masturbatus: You're a bitch. Can't keep them 'hos in line.

EeyoreGuy: Well, besides, I would never hit a woman.

Neckbeard: That's because you physically can't. You've already provided evidence.

Faucet Hanger: Fiery fierce fury? I've got one for you: Peter Piper Picks a Pound of Pickled Peppers. How many Pickled Peppers does Peter Piper Pick?

It doesn't matter because you're a prick.

You deserve what happened to you. Don't fuck with another man's lady. Or that lady will put the beat down on you.

Finally, you got beat down by a lady.

*Clap*, *clap*, *clap*.

EeyoreGuy: You guys said you wouldn't make fun of me!! I hate you guys. I hate her. Nietzsche's the only one who understands how great I am. ME!! He gets it. So does Morrissey. Guys like us, passionate geniuses, we don't need you bottom feeders. God, why is the whole universe against me?

Kaiser Wilhem: Because you make yourself such a goddam easy target. Dude, chill out, take a step back from this place. Experience should tell you not to trust these guys. Maybe it's better if you don't deal with 451 for a while. And it's not cool to stalk people. Just putting that out there.

Hairy Palmer: Rape alert! Rape alert! Whoop Whoop! Following her around? Are you serious? Outsmarted by a Guido. Good stuff, idiot.

EeyoreGuy: I don't care what you say cause I'm a nihilist now. Nothing matters to me anymore. I feel nothing anymore. You know what? I'm gonna get a steak and eat it like the savage this world has made me.

Neckbeard: Now you're starting to come around. I still hate you though.

EeyoreGuy: You know what, I'm done here! I'm moving to Argentina. They'll for sure accept me.

Hairy Palmer: Pretty sure they have internets in Argentina. Lotsa dead cow too, hypocrite. How's that burger coming along? I'll bet you're body's so unused to meat you've got the monster shits right about now.

EeyoreGuy: NO. SHUT UP.

Faucet Hanger: You realize this isn't a real place right? Just logout. One button. You don't even have to do anything.

EeyoreGuy: Well, whatever, I don't need any of you. I'll transcend. Just me and Morrissey and Nietzsche.

Level80Paladin: Transcend? To what. Where? All three of you? Like a Dragonball Z episode? Will your power level be over 9000?

EeyoreGuy: To a higher realm of existence, where my charity will be appreciated.

Kaiser Wilhelm: Woah...what? Just take a break man. No need to do anything drastic.

Neckbeard: I say more power to you. J

EeyoreGuy: I intend to meditate until my soul is reborn. I will detach myself from this idle society. And the apotheosis shall begin!

Faucet Hanger: That's right, you'll become a big ball of pure energy. True nihilism at work, guys.

Neckbeard: You won't be missed.

Level80Paladin: Where does Argentina fit into all this?

EeyoreGuy: I hope you're all very happy, cause I'm killing my account. You're all at fault. All you guys and Charlene and her stupid boyfriend. I just tried to give a little light and hope to you neckbeards, and you spurned it! This place sickens me. And yet, I do this for you. All of you, and Charlene and what's-his-name with the stupid hair. I shall disconnect myself from you lemmings in order to find a higher plane, and when you find me, you will be so awe inspired that you will immediately wish you were me. And Charlene will want me. It'll happen. You'll all see.

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