Flash Fiction: Destiny

Someone was knocking at the door, but this morning she chose to ignore it. It was probably a neighbor in need of a favor. (She never said no). Today she was alone and intended to stay that way. There are thoughts that one cannot have in company. There are depths one is unable to explore when limited by another person's interrupting whims. Today she would find her true soul's purpose, her raison d'etre, her destiny, with no one else to influence her interpretation.

Jeanie got married right out of high school. She never had a chance to wander alone, to listen for her own guiding rhythm. She generally did what was expected of her, not from any conscious decision to conform, but because she cared for others and did her best to please all. She chose her career by looking in the help wanted section of the newspaper to see what was most needed. She wanted to be an angel; she became a nurse.

The years passed quickly. Her children were in school. Her marriage was a bust. Her parents were ill. Instead of living her life, it seemed that life was living her. She had no control. Everywhere she looked people were dying, wars were erupting. At work she only met people at their most troubled times. The news was full of theft, murder, rape. According to her sources, she couldn't trust the food she ate or her car or her insurance company or the FDA, the CIA, or even the news broadcasters. Of course there were probably aliens ruling it all in secret. She couldn't be sure of anything.

And all these years giving needles to people who didn't want them, bathing people who'd rather stay dirty, saving people who think they'd rather die. The line between right and wrong was so fine, how could she be sure she'd ever done right?

Jeanie was on vacation at home by herself. Her sister had the kids. This was her first weekend off since she was sixteen years old, not counting that time Molly had the flu. And she intended to use this time wisely and selfishly. She would evaluate her life, her marriage. What went wrong? She didn't even know.

Morning light was streaming in on the familiar walls of her bedroom. Destiny, she sighed. "Where would I be now if I had-- " But she hadn't; she shook her head. Maybe thinking wasn't what she needed after all.

"This is it, this is my destiny." Her little life, her precious children. She would meet each day as she had before, bravely, humbly doing the best she knew how. Each moment was an opportunity to be kind, and it was kindness that made her feel complete.

She leapt out of bed and threw on a robe. Someone was knocking at the door.