Follow Your Nemesis with GPS Tracking

GPS Devices are Real Cheap
Is someone on your mind? I mean are they really bugging you so much you can't seem to control them like you wish you could? If you're a control freak you can follow anyone you wish--of course it's illegal in some cases--wherever they go, and it's cheap. It took me no more than 30 seconds to find a website offering GPS tracking devices to put on vehicles--or really anything--for less than $200 dollars. No monthly fee is also enticing for most people and some companies offer that as well. The tracking of the vehicle (or vehicles) is accessed through the internet so you can follow the progress of your favorite nemesis or maybe it's your friend you're following.

FBI Shenanigans
The FBI has followed people--celebrities--since GPS tracking became available in the early 1980s (maybe the 1970s) so they would be good people to ask about the applicable laws you need to be concerned about when engaging in surreptitious tracking of your chosen victim. I have quite a history with the Bureau so I could tell you about how easy it is to follow someone assuming no one is telling you that you can't...of course the Patriot Act has given law enforcement ridiculously easy access to your car door because it has made practical access to people's business easy.

There are so many things wrong with tracking people against their knowledge... it's hard to put a normal person in the spot to appraise the facts and arrogance of tracking someone illegally and to have them react positively. For instance, they might be reminding themselves how many good things that result from GPS tracking devices. You can legally--I think--track your teenager who's driving your car. One can also follow employees who are using a company car.

So you can pick YOUR friends and you can pick YOUR nose. However, you CAN'T pick your friends nose. So by analogy the FBI can't pick YOUR nose and by analogy they can't track YOUR innocent driving habits...unless, of course, you consider that they occasionally say so what.

What a Useful War!
The standard has been lowered thanks to that war in Afghanistan, presumably, which looks to be a nice cover for an agency desiring to have easier access to troubling citizens. If you're in the same town as someone who has come under scrutiny by a FISA court order well then maybe they'll slap a GPS device on your car. You won't see it probably and so you won't know it's tracking your movements. Don't let it leak out but the FBI has been illegally following people-- not at all terrorist-look-alikes-- far before it was fashionable to do so.

So What If I do Follow You?
We the people are supposed to feel like lunatics for feeling paranoid and scrutinizing those people who are protecting us: that, of course, is the FBI. If you can get the pass word out of some FBI agent's hands you can follow me--Tommy Hayfield--your favorite Irish-English WASP on the internet...of course what I mean is you can follow me as I drive around Richmond, Virginia.

Can You Guess My Pass Word?
I don't anticipate you'll easily figure the pass word to access my GPS tracking device; I also don't think anyone at the FBI will freely give you the pass word out of love for anything near and dear to our freedom-hungry hearts. This is after all the world of the blase reports on television and thus the nonchalant siege. This is the siege of the morning coffee and the iced tea on the computer stand.

Don't think real hard to figure out the pass word. It won't contain Eric Holder's name or Robert Mueller's name in rearranged anagram form. You won't divine it by listening to clues from the FBI's omnipresent agents on television. Don't ask Chris Fowler of ESPN because you'll make him blush and he'll have to direct you to another agent.

Yes, I said that! Didn't you know? Additionally, the list is--unbelievably-- too extensive to simply recall in text form. You'll have to read some of my other stories and poems which humorously point at the amazing slow-speed chase of the special--very special, indeed--agents who have the pass word in their memory banks.

Did I Win The Publisher's Clearinghoue Giveaway?
You ought to feel better because I just told you something that will make you feel safer...why, after all, does the FBI NEED to follow anyone around unless they're trying to give you the check that a civil court has ordered them to pay you for damages. Knowledge makes us feel safer.

Check please!!

Resources:
fbi.gov
rmtracking.com