Following Through With Your Discipline

Discipline can be tricky for parents of children of all ages. We love our kids and we don't want to make them unhappy but discipline by definition, is not pleasurable. That's why it is affective in teaching appropriate behavior in your children. While there are many different discipline methods and parents will often argue over what the best method is. However, when it comes right down to it, the most important thing is that you follow through with your discipline, whatever method you choose.

Have you ever heard a parent say to their child, "If you do that one more time..." and the child does it again and the parent doesn't follow through with the promise. This is an empty threat. Empty threats are confusing to the child. They show the child they can do the offending behavior again and again and you will not do anything about it.

Another example of empty threats is "When your father gets home..." This type of empty threat teaches the child that on parent has more authority than the other and it will make him think he can do whatever he wants as long as the disciplinary parent is not at home at the time.

When you tell your child, "If you hit your sister again, you are going to time out" and your child hits her sister again, you have to follow through and put her in the time out. There are no negotiations, no excuses and no second chances. If you do not put her in time out, she will think that she does not have to listen to what you say because there are no consequences for when she doesn't.

It does not work to just threaten your child with discipline. If you don't follow through, then the threats mean less each time and your child will continue with the bad behavior. One of the biggest problems parents have is with how to enforce the discipline. Here are some tips on how to follow through every time.

Write your rules out and keep them displayed- When your rules are written so everyone can see, there is no question about whether or not a behavior is allowed. You and your child can refer to them at any time.

Discuss the rules with your child- Take some time when you first list the rules to talk about them with your child. Answer any questions and let any discussion take place now. There should be no negotiations when the rule is broken.

Write out the consequences for breaking the rules- Writing out the consequences means you and your child will know what disciplinary action will take place. When your child breaks a rule, you don't have to struggle or try to figure out on the spot what to do. You already have the rules and consequences in writing.

Discuss the expectations you have of your child- Explain to your child what your expectations are. For example, if you're going to the store with your child and you want them to pick only one small item (less than $10), you should tell her this before you go. Explain to her that if she begs, cries or throws a tantrum in the store, she will not get the item and there will be the consequence of a time out (or whatever your discipline method is). Describe the behavior you want from your child before you go.

When you follow these tips for enforcing your discipline, you will find that over time, your child learns to listen the first time and you will not have to follow through with the discipline as much in the future because the warning itself will be enough.