Food Fight Dos and Don'ts

As with anything fun in life, food fights do have a few rules and regulations. It's mostly general safety related stuff. Things tend to get hectic when milk cartons, re-fried beans and corned beef is flying at break neck speed. If you are fortunate enough to find yourself as a participant in this impromptu right of passage, please try to remember the following when the time comes.

Food fight do: Hunker Down.
Get low, and stay low. You never want to be the nosy type of person who stands straight up, looking around to see what's going on during a food fight. You're just asking for everybody to pelt your facial area with with cafeteria meatloaf.

Food fight Don't: Slither.
Why is it a bad idea to slither during a food fight? The reason it's a bad idea to slither in any other situation is life. It's just weird and makes those around you very uncomfortable.How do you think the schools top scorer in basketball, or your companies employee of the month feel about having having some random goober rub up against them, while they aim for for an unsuspecting target from across the room? Weirded the heck out is the G rated answer to that question.

Food fight do: Pass the peas.
Anything edible should be used in a food fight. It doesn't matter how non lethal it may seem. Even a chunk of jello makes for a great projectile. The whole idea of food fights is to have fun. Remember that while in the heat of battle, and everything should be cool.

Food fight Don't: Toss the can of peas.
What are you, some kind of lunatic? yOu should never throw canned anything at another human being. It's just as dangerous as running around the house with scissors. Only real difference is, you can't cause a concussion with a pair of scissors.

Food fight do: Make alliances.
Everybody within sniffing distance is an ally. You must trust them when the food fight has begun. All petty differences must be put aside for the time being. If you must get rid of one of them due to angst and dislike, convince them that being a martyr will help to secure victory against enemies. Use them as a meat shield, or have your soon to be corn-breaded colleague do a kamikaze charge toward the other side of the room.

Food fight Don't: Sign peace treaties.
It's a trap. don't trust the opposition until the war has played it's self out completely. the Indians signed treaties, and look at what happened to them. It's not like you would be able to set up a proper meeting with anyone during a food fight anyway. If you do manage to pull it off, you probably weren't doing it right to begin with. In which case, you should really be ashamed of yourself for embracing order in an event that was meant to be chaotic.