Food for Thought - Things to Consider the Next Time You Eat Out

As someone that works in the restaurant industry, it amazes me how few people know how to conduct themselves in such a social setting. A restaurant is not you eating in the privacy of your own home, and thus able to exhibit whatever bad habits you so desire. A restaurant is a public place, and here are some things that everyone should think about when they go out.

First of all, be courteous. Everyone has a bad day at work, and it is even remotely possible that someone connected to your meal may be having one. A bad day is still no excuse to be rude, and in fact if you are rude to the hostess, server, bartender, etc. you may find that the service becomes slower and people are less polite. Being polite and patient gets you a long way in a restaurant. You may even find yourself enjoying yourself.

Secondly, learn the difference between a servant and a server. You can say waiter/waitress if you wish, but just like so many other fields the new politically correct term is server. This new term, notice, is not servant. A server is responsible for making your meal enjoyable, and taking care of your needs. This is far different from taking care of your every whim. Be reasonable in your request. For instance, I have had the misfortune of encountering a woman that insists her water only have three ice cubes in the glass. If there is four, I am expected to go back and try again. Did the one cube really make this big of a difference? No, it probably did not. Which leads me to my next point.

Complaining/ sending food back does not make you a food connoisseur. It also does not increase your wealth as a person, and wastes everyone's time. So unless there is a legitimate reason for sending food back or a complaint, do not do so. Additionally, if you are going to complain, make sure you blame who is to blame. Your server did not cook your steak. Your server did not select the particular cut of meat. Similarly, your server did not make your cocktail. We bring your items to you, but we have no involvement in their preparation. Remember this before you yell at a server. Additionally, if there is a problem, be kind. If you do not waste time yelling at a server, you'll find the problem gets fixed faster.

Children are the bane of anyone that works in the restaurant industry. This is not to say that I do not love children, or that people in the same industry do not love children. A more accurate statement is that people in the restaurant hate parents that do not control their children. A restaurant is not a play area. As such there are no toys here. Food is not a toy. It bothers me that parents allow children to behave in public in such a way that they would not allow them to do at home. There should not be a difference in what a child is allowed to do just because you are no longer the person responsible for the mess. Again, food is not a toy. It is not intended to be thrown, painted with, etc. Crayons are for paper, they are not for tables. Additionally, you know what your child eats. Do not expect them to eat something they would not eat at home, because more often than not it is just thrown on the floor. Keep in mind that the mess still has to be cleaned up. Also, a restaurant is not an indoor gym. A server carrying 40 pounds of food on a tray probably will not see a 4-year-old running into their path. So be careful so that no one gets hurt.

Everyone knows the most basic table manners. Do not chew with your mouth open. Do not talk with food in your mouth. Cut your food before you chew it. Do not make any bodily noises at the table. Do not blow your nose at a table. Do not spit anything out on the table. All of these are very basic manners most people were taught in elementary school. None, and I do repeat, NONE of these should every occur in a social setting. Be respectful of those around you and to your server. You do not have to be rich to have class. Manners also lead to people being willing to eat out with you more than once.

Think before you speak, and when you do speak face the person with which you are talking. No one can hear someone who's sound waves are being absorbed into a table. Additionally, think about the question you are being asked. If I say, "Can I get you something to drink?" The proper response is not saying, "I do not drink alcohol" in an offended tone. Water, tea, and soda also count as drinks for those of you keeping score. If I say, "I will be right back with your coffee, do you need anything else?" The proper response is not, "Yeah, can I get some coffee." Being a server does not make you any more or any less intelligent than anyone else. However, it also does not mean that you cannot remember something. If you tell me once, I probably will remember. Also being a server, does not make me deaf. I can hear just fine, so yelling really does not serve a purpose. Also, when asking a server a question, remember that we do know what we are talking about. If I make a big deal about something there is a reason, and do not assume that you know better than your server when it is their job to know what they are talking about.

Everyone's favorite part of the meal is the check. Well, not really, but here are a few things to consider. Reducing a tip drastically because of service is not a good thing to do. If there was a problem throughout the meal, leave a decent tip and speak with the manager to explain the problem. Many times the manager will be willing to compensate you for your problems. The amount you tip, is the only wages a server really earns. It is their rent, their car payment, and their grocery bill. The current expected percentage of a tip is 18 percent. This is also taking into account that most servers will have to pay the bartender, host, and busser for their services. This payment is usually in the form of a percent of your sales -- for each person. So, if you give a server 10 dollars, on a 100 dollar tab. It may seem like an okay tip, but in actuality the server is only keeping 7% of the 10%. Does 7 dollars on a 100 dollars still sound pretty okay, because it should not. I am not telling anyone how to spend their money, but if you choose to go out to eat, tip. If you leave a server nothing, then you actually just cost them money. A server owes based on their sales, not on the actual tips they take in on a given night. Try and remember all this next time you leave a tip.

One thing that really bothers me is that many people think serving is easy or low-class. It is a job to get by with until you get the next one in a lot of ways. Serving is a favorite among college students, because the hours and the money is good. Also, if you really think serving is easy consider this. You are essentially paid based on how people perceive you, how they feel that day, and how other people perform in their jobs. You can be upbeat, happy, and accommodating and still do poorly on a given night. Given my experiences with the rudeness of salaried people in other industries, I doubt they could do the same. Think about it this way, I lose on average ten to fifteen dollars a night if I am rude. That amasses around 400 dollars a month. That leads to almost 5000 dollars a year. Also, in all actuality I do not even have to be rude for this to happen. All it takes is for someone to feel that I am rude, for them to not understand my personality. Is there anyone that generally wants to be paid on their personality? I doubt it. Think about that the next time you think being a server is easy.

My final point is this. Every year million of people eat out. It can be a lot of fun. It can be a great way to catch up with funs. It can be an excuse not to cook that night. For whatever reason you go out, remember this is someone's workplace you are going to. Treat it the same as you would want your workplace to be treated. Also remember, servers have every opportunity to do awful things to your food. Very few ever will, but remember that the opportunity is there the next time you decide to be cruel.