For Married Couples: How to Have a Date Night

A date night with your spouse is critical for romance to stay alive in your relationship. Just going out because you don't want to cook or there's a movie playing you wanted to see when you're both available doesn't always qualify as a date. Married couples often do things as friends, but need to do things that spark romance. We don't usually marry people who stay in the friend zone. We marry people who flip our switch and make our heart palpitate. Many couples loose that spark and can't seem to get it rekindled. That's why cruise ships and all-inclusive vacations are so popular now. But, a date night is much less expensive and has many of the same benefits.

If it's so important, how do you make it happen. Actually, for most couples, it works best if the man selects a couple of dates a week or so off. Then, ask your wife if she would like to go out a week from Thursday or Tuesday or whenever it falls. By having more than one date ready, he can be prepared in case she isn't available on the first try. For many busy couples this may take some negotiating to work out. You worked hard to make time for each other when you were dating. Your investment now is much greater. So, work hard to make this happen. Once the date is set, treat it like any other priority item on your calendar. It should only be canceled in the event of a true and unavoidable emergency.

If the restaurant or the show is popular, make the reservations or buy the tickets now. Take some time to clean up the car. For this to work right, you need to put some effort in just like you did when you were dating. Shine up the shoes, powder the nose, and get ready for a great evening together. Tell people what you're doing just like you would if you had a special date with someone you thought was beyond your reach. Make sure you smell good and your breath is fresh.

Plan to do this at least once a month. It doesn't have to cost an arm and a leg. It just needs to be a time when you are a couple and not a family or a profession career person. It's just you two. Don't make it a double date. Don't go where all of your friends hang out. This isn't the night to make business contacts or cheer for your team over a couple of beers. Make it private, intimate, and as romantic as possible. Do something you both enjoy. If you can't both enjoy it, make sure it's something she'll enjoy.

Don't just make it an excuse to try to have sex. If that happens fine, it's about romance and physical attraction not necessarily gratification. Learn how to enjoy each other's company again. Reconnect about things other than children and jobs. The first time or two may seem odd. But, you will get to where you look forward to it.