For Parents: How to Cure Your Aching Back

I never had prolonged back aches until I became a stay-at-home dad, and then I seemed to have them all the time. At first I thought it was simply that I was getting old, that I was aging fast because of my job. After following the advice of two physical therapists, however, I was quickly able to reduce my back pains and, eventually, get rid of them altogether. Here's how to do it.

Stop Stooping

Constantly bending over can cause you to strain your back muscles, muscles you don't normally use (or that you didn't use much until you had kids). If you stop stooping, you'll reduce the strain on your back, and this can provide immediate relief. This may seem impossible to do, especially if you're caring for several little ones.

"They're small. I have to stoop down to work with them," you say.

No you don't. Almost everything you do with your children you can do standing up, or on your knees. Either way, you can keep your back straight.

Lifting your child: don't bend over to pick up your child, squat instead, then rise with your back as straight as possible, lifting with your legs.

Carrying your child: I don't use both arms to carry my child. I find if I do this I bend forward a bit. Instead, I use a "fireman's carry." I place my child over my right shoulder and hold him firmly in place with my right hand. I find when I do this I can stand and walk perfectly straight, with no stress at all on my back. A bonus is that my left hand is free in case I need it (to open the door, pick up a stray bottle, grab a diaper, etc.)
Changing diapers: do this on a diaper-changing table (with a roll-prevention pad under the child), or on a dresser. I sometimes change diapers on the couch, sitting in front of the child, with a pad underneath his bottom in case there are accidents.

Dressing them: you can do this on the diaper-changing table or have the child stand on a chair. If you're tall and still find yourself stooping, then get on your knees (use knee pads if necessary).

Bathing them: I kneel next to the tub. Yes, I still have to bend a bit, but not much. When drying and dressing the boys in the bathroom, I either sit on the floor or kneel.

Doing housework: When I pick up after my little ones I get down on the floor as much as possible, instead of bending over. I also stand as straight as I can when I vacuum, sweep and mop.

I've taken this to an extreme. When walking, I won't even bend over to clear a path through the toys on the floor or in the yard, instead I gently push them aside with my feet. I do this with the child-safety gates in our home too. My wife complains loudly about this, saying it looks uncivilized, but I'm not going to strain my back simply for the sake of convention.

Change Your Mattress

My back pains came back a couple of months ago and I was at a loss as to why (I had rarely bent over for more than a year). My wife and I had moved upstairs because she wanted to be closer to the kids' room and we were sleeping on the guest bed. One night I decided to sleep in our master bedroom instead (I needed to get some uninterrupted sleep for a change) and the next morning I woke up with no back pain at all. That's when I discovered that I needed to sleep on a firmer mattress; it provides more support for my back.

A co-worker of my wife's told her that one morning he woke up and was in such pain he could hardly move. His wife had to dress him while he lay on this back, and he barely made it to work that day. After buying a new mattress his back pain disappeared.

Exercise

This should probably have been listed first, but if you're like me you don't always make or find time to exercise, or at least to do special exercises for your back. The physical therapists my wife and I have consulted both recommended doing "crunches." You lay flat on your back, bend your knees and curl your upper body forward (your arms extended in front of you, over your knees). This is very similar to what they used to call a "sit-up," except that you don't hook your feet under anything.

The purpose of exercises like this is to strengthen your back so it's better able to handle the extra strain you have to put on it. Be sure and consult a manual of some sort before doing this, however, as I don't want you to do the exercise incorrectly and inadvertently hurt yourself. The best approach would be to consult a physical therapist, of course.

If you try all these things and your back still hurts, then you should consult a specialist. Although my back pains have disappeared, my wife's haven't. She strained her back much worse than I have, of course, because the poor thing had to carry triplets for seven months when she was pregnant. She has seen two different physical therapists and a chiropractor and the pain still hasn't gone away.