For Women: Ten Things He'll Appreciate During the NCAA Basketball Tournament

Here are 10 tips for the women on how to get through the NCAA Basketball Tournament. Think of how the man in your life thinks of the Superbowl. He can no more miss the 64 team NCAA Basketball Tournament than he could miss the Superbowl. Your a woman. You have to think of what your going to wear to work tomorrow. You can't help it. You just do. He's a man. When March rolls around he has to think about finding ways to watch as many NCAA Basketball Tournament games as he possibly can. He can't help it either. Which means there will be NCAA Basketball Tournament games playing on your televisions at home during March for as at least 11 hours a day for several days over a couple of weeks. They don't call it March Madness for nothing. Here are 10 things to do or not do which will help you through it.

1. Get in on the office pool and make a bet on the NCAA Basketball Tournament. It makes it more interesting when you have money on it. It's a secret weguys have known since time began. There's no excuse for not getting in the office pool at your place of work. If you don't work, get in on the pool where he works. There will be one there. He wouldn't work there if there wasn't. Pick the winner of each game by any system you like, uniform color, mascot name, etc. It''s as good as his system or anyone else's.

2. Do not make fun of him when you pick more winners than him. We don't like to be reminded that our hours of NCAA Basketball Tournament analysis was outdone by someone who picked the winners because she has a feeling a team in purple uniforms can't be that good.

3. Don't ask why it takes at least 30 minutes to play the last 3 minutes of an NCAA Tournament game. The short answer is they take a lot of time outs O.K.?

4. Be prepared with some consoling and kind words when he gets knocked out of contention in the office pool he bet on. You will know when this happens when you see a very rapid and dramatic change for the worse in his overall attitude towards life.

5. Do not forbid it when he tells you he wants to take a couple days off from work to watch the first 2 days of the tournament on TV. This is March Madness at it's best. It will cause an argument that may lead to divorce.

6. Don't ask, "What do all the lines on the field stand for?" It's a court, not a field. Don't ask why they call it a court. We don't know.

7. While you are watching a game you will hear about all of the players in the game that have been arrested for various serious crimes. Don't trouble your man with questions about why they are still allowed to play in the NCAA Basketball Tournament. The laws that most of us have to follow don't apply to big time college basketball stars.

8. If your man is having friends over for a big game, you can save a lot of money by buying 2 six-packs of expensive beer and 6 six-packs of really cheap beer. It may go without saying but serve the expensive beer first.

9. If it's the final 5 seconds of a game and his team has the ball but is down by one point don't ask him what play he'd run. He doesn't know. Don't ask him anything. Don't say anything. There's nothing he wants to hear in these last 5 seconds.

10. A 3-pointer in basketball is not a field goal. It's just a 3-pointer. If you want to show your basketball knowledge when a player shoots a 3-pointer you can say, "Wow, what a bomb!" or "Whew, downtown!. Alright!".

Surprisingly, this should get you the worst of it. Incidentally a $6.00 office pool bet should win $250.00 minimum for you in any self respecting office pool. Betting the higher seeded team in each game should keep you in the tourney for a good while. Good Luck!