Forever Lazy Pajamas: Taking Comfort to Infantile Proportions

Like clockwork, inventors have found yet another juvenile/adult garment to put on the As Seen on TV market. Enter the stage, Forever Lazy -- -- the one-piece, lie around, lounge around, full body lazy wear. It's basically fleece loungewear designed to keep you warm and comfortable without restricting your movement (because wrestling with blankets is silly). And because they come with a free pair of matching footies, they are basically onesies for adults.


For some reason, we've latched onto the idea that grown-ups need help doing nothing, thus the clever title. But doesn't naming a piece of clothing Forever Lazy have negative connotations? Do we really want to be lazy forever?

The footies, as practical as they may be, also disturb me. For it is this one tiny detail that keeps the entire ensemble from resembling the one-piece PJs donned by little kids. But according to the website, the separate footies keep your feet from overheating.

This thing even has a drop seat that makes potty time a breeze. I really don't know how I feel about that, either. And while you're sitting around being lethargic, you apparently need deep side pockets. What are we supposed to put in these pockets? Snacks? Power tools? Of course the PJs have included a hood to "keep your head warm, comfortable and lazy." How does one acquire a "lazy" head? I guess this means that the hood keeps your head from rolling around because you're too lazy to hold it up by yourself.

For all intensive purposes, I can see the logic behind creating a large warm and snuggly garment that doesn't require much fuss. But like the Snuggie, makers of this product assume that reasonable adults yearn to congregate in their onesies. This is probably why they give you two for the price of one, including two sets of footies: they know how ridiculous you'll look, and they don't want you to feel silly all alone.

And just in case you don't feel absurd enough, you're forced to choose a color amongst three stylish and enticing shades: Hanky-Pinky Fuchsia, Asleep on the Job Gray, and Workday Blues. Okay, so the names are witty. But really? I suppose all of these qualms are negated by the fact that the "combined value" of both sets of pajamas and footies is over $100. Despite the great reviews, and the rationale behind creating a cozy fleece garment, I have trouble believing that a discerning consumer would deem Forever Lazy worth spending more than its magically reduced price of thirty bucks. But then again, if these amazing onesies are capable of reducing your heat bill as much as product reviewers purport, then being Lazy Forever just might be pretty cost-effective.

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