Forgive Your Own Mistakes

To forgive yourself for your mistakes is often harder than to forgive another for their mistakes. Why is this true? How can we learn to forgive our mistakes and leave regrets behind? Is it really that important to forgive ourselves for past mistakes and errors in judgment? What do we gain from the ability to forgive our own mistakes? Why is blaming the responsible party considered wrong, unless you are the responsible party?

From childhood, many of us were taught to own up to our mistakes. The part that was left out is the ability to forgive ourselves and move on. In most religions, it's considered exemplary to be humble. Many people who have been raised this way tend to be more likely to look down on themselves. When feelings of blame come in, they have been taught to accept the blame and the guilt for their mistakes. They have been told this is a noble approach, and so turn themselves into martyrs.

It may be noble to admit your mistakes but there is nothing noble about self torture. The inherent part of being human involves human error. Mistakes are a naturally occurring process. What distinguishes a person is not their mistakes, but their reaction to them. Forgive yourself and move on. It's OK to forgive yourself for human error, learn your lesson and move on. It is not acceptable to hold on to guilt and blame from past mistakes.

Let's take a look at our lives in the past. Are there mistakes made that we have not been allowing ourselves to forgive? Have we learned from those mistakes? Why are we not able to forgive them? I, myself made many mistakes as a fledgling youngster. Yes they were my mistakes and I take full responsibility for them. Should I feel guilty for the rest of my life? Absolutely not! I forgive myself, change the behavior that got me into trouble and move on.

Stress and guilt cause both physical and mental illnesses. In addition, people who do not forgive themselves for mistakes, often feel inferior to others. Even worse, their self loathing is reflected in the way others see them as well. This allows them to be taken advantage of by the predators of society. We are born human, not Gods, and as such, we will make mistakes and lots of them. We can practice self ridicule and scold ourselves for the rest of our lives and only bad will come of it.

The healthy way to deal with mistakes is simple. Learn from your mistake. Change your behavior to reflect what you have learned. Forgive yourself for your own human error. The mistakes will keep coming because you are not perfect. You are human. If you learn to deal with your mistakes this way, you will be a much happier and well liked person. Learn, Change, Forgive, it's that simple.

Some people can't change their behavior on their own. They need help and that's OK too. Then the formula changes a little. Learn, Seek Help, Change, Forgive. We must stop torturing ourselves over past mistakes. If the mistakes are not your fault don't own them. Pass them on to the responsible party and try to forgive them. If possible, help them to change and forgive themselves as well. We are here to help each other, not to place blame. It really doesn't matter who is at fault. The only thing that matters is the healing and the ability to forgive.

Source :

personal experience on the long, bumpy road of life.