Forgiveness is Justice

Shifting constantly there was no place I could call home, merely the places I stayed. As I grew more mature, I tried to contact my father since I was unable to talk to him at an early age. Sadly I was successful the first time, and I realized that he had invested very little effort on keeping in touch. Despite my love for my dad, it was not enough to shield me from the black hole my father considered effort and care.

Then, going back further, I remember seeing the bongs, glass pipes, and marijuana wrappings decorating the floors and desks all over the living room. I can recall the pornography tapes slung around as if they were part of the carpet and furniture. Of course who could forget the weird company that stayed around the house? What man, who loves his family, would do something so wicked to them.

The more I reflect upon my father and my childhood, the more I realize how he was not around as much. So do I hate him or do I love him. I know not the fair choice, but I know God says to love everyone. Who am I to judge one? I am no one to judge. I am not without sin.

I must love my father, for at least he gave a little effort. If I love not my father, then I love not my brother who is of my father, therefore I would not love God so I must love my father, in spite of his short comings. For no one is righteous, not even one. In this, I must forgive him.

Another item is that my childhood was filled with me having to learn new environments. I was forced to understand different states in the United States of America. And I had to learn to be a broad minded person. Therefore, I should thank my father. Because of his lack of proper form, I have been able to comprehend a lot. All of it was because God had a plan for me, and I was able to overcome my circumstances to be better off.

In this, I realize that I must be thankful for the life God has given me. For if love is a cross between life and death, then let Jesus Christ's cross and the burden he carried for me carry my father. I ask that God watches after my poor father. Or maybe he has done pretty well since I last talked to him. I just hope he truly finds and comes to God.

There remains, of course, one fact, and that is that God forgives all. If we lay our problems at His cross and trust Him, then we have nothing to worry about. We will be saved if we trust in Christ. So why do I ask Christ to forgive my father and bring him to himself. I ask because I hope to be able to see my dad in heaven saved. Perhaps I can have the relationship and get to know him since I missed out on knowing him during my lifetime.

Another thing that I found is that my father attempts to save face by showing his "affection" when I am "in town" so he looks good. I then end up receiving a lot of new gifts and new shoes. I refuse to take advantage of my father. But he does do nice things, now a day and the tendencies of his past bring guilt upon his mind. My forgiveness helps to heal the wounds that his sins have opened. And this is what I have always wanted anyway, so I learned a lot from my forgiveness and prayer to God. What I learned is that forgiveness is the greatest justice around. It has given me the retribution that I really wanted. As well I have done no wrong against my father or my Father above. I pray my father to be in Christ so that he may go to be with Christ when his life transpires, for I will love him, but the ways of whom I follow are the ways of Christ.