Forgiving Those You Hate: Why It's Important to Forgive and Move on with Your Life

It is much easier for some people to feel hatred than it is to grant forgiveness to someone who has caused harm to you. I won't try to say that forgiveness is something that should be easily given, or spoken for that matter. Forgiveness can take all of your will power and even take a piece of who you are in the process.

Many professionals claim that in order to move on after being hurt that you must be willing to forgive the person who has caused you harm. While that sounds easy to do, it is not that simple. Forgiveness can take some people years especially for serious offenses. There are of course some people who cannot and will not forgive those who have harmed them.

So why is it so important to forgive those who harm you? There are several reasons why it's important. The main one is because when you hold on to the hatred you are causing yourself more pain. You are also disallowing yourself the right to move on and the potential to be happy. When we carry the invisible baggage of hatred you slowly destroy part of whom you are, and you allow the person you hate to have control over you. Eventually, the hatred you feel will consume you and potentially cause catastrophic damage in your life and relationships. If you are trying to remove the impact that they have had on your life you need to find a way to forgive that person.

The tricky part is how do you accomplish this? Should you have a face to face meeting with the person to discuss what happened to you and tell them that you forgive them? It really depends on what you feel is right for you. There is no answer for every scenario and no set standard for when you must forgive someone. Forgiveness can be too traumatic. If this is the case, then you are not ready to forgive, nor are you ready to move on. There are of course other options for granting forgiveness.

One of the least intrusive or traumatic methods is to write a letter to the person, describe what they did to you in as much or little detail as you feel comfortable with. Make sure to re-read the letter to ensure that you have captured the essence of what you are trying to say. Add any last minute details that you feel are essential to stating how you were hurt, and of course the fact that you forgive that person for what they have done to you. The next step is critical, will you send the letter or will you simply destroy it as a sign of forgiveness. For some people it can be beneficial to bury the letter, or even burn it in the fireplace as a symbol of letting go.

Forgiveness is one of the most difficult tasks that we endure as people. It is not a process that should not be rushed or taken lightly; it is a crucial catalyst for being able to move forward with your life.