Formal Dinner Etiquette

I love to cook and I cook often. My meals are down home, unpretentious family favorites. But, I always ooh and ahh over the beautiful formal tablescapes I see in magazines. Because I don't cook gourmet meals, I don't have the occasion to have a formal dinner. Well, I decided my Chicken Kiev is going to live the high life for a change! In my desire to treat myself to something special it occurred to me that my formal table etiquette might be lacking. So I am going to share with you what I learned.

The first item for discussion is setting your dining room table. This should not be a complicated stressful thing. I love to get inspiration from those magazines I was telling you about. Once you know how many guests you have coming, grab your dishes and flatware and let's go!

1. You need to know your menu. Collect the appropriate dishes and silverware. Have them handy to the table.

2. Iron your tablecloth then spread the cloth so there are no wrinkles.

3. Place your centerpiece (yes, you should have one) in the center of the table. Your centerpiece could be candles, flowers, or anything festive. Just keep it short enough so guests can see over it.

4. Your dinner plates are to be placed one inch from the edge of the table at each place setting.

5. Lay the fork on the left side of the plate. Place the knife on the right side, with the blade edge facing the plate. The spoon is placed next to the knife. You want to line your silverware up one inch from the table edge.

6. If you have additional utensils, due to menu choices, add them now. Spoons will go next to spoons and forks next to forks. You may be adding a salad fork and a soup spoon. Remember to place all silverware in the order they will be used. The silverware on the outside will be used first and so on.

7. You glasses are next. Place them directly above the knife and spoon. If you will be serving wine, place the wine glass next to your water glass.

8. The last piece is the napkin. You can simply lay the napkin in the center of the dinner plate or add a napkin ring before placing it.

The next item is the method of Continental dining. Continental dining is a European style of handling our silverware during a meal. Read on to learn how to use the continental dining style.

1. Hold your fork in your left hand and your knife in your right hand. These will be held throughout each course. You will not be putting them down to change hands.

2. Hold your fork with the tines down to steady your food. Use your knife to cut small pieces.

3. If you want other food on the fork with the meat, push it onto the fork with the knife.

4. When you bring the fork to your mouth, be sure the tines are down. Turn you wrist toward you as you place the food into your mouth.

5. When you need to set your silverware down to take a drink or use your napkin, think about the numbers on a clock. Lay your fork, tines down, at the 2:40 position on the clock.

6. When your meal is finished place the knife, blade edge in and fork, tines down next to each other in a 10:20 configuration. The fork will be below the knife on the plate.

So now we've learned how to properly set our dining table for a formal dinner. We also learned the continental method of holding our silverware. Now I would like to briefly explain the finer points of enjoying a formal dinner.

1. Place your napkin in your lap but do not spread it out.

2. Remember how you placed your silverware. Your fork will be used for the first course unless, of course, the course is soup! Sorry I was channeling Dr. Suess...

3. When you are finished with the first course, remember the 10:20 configuration. This will indicate that you are finished.

4. Continue by using the next fork in line and the outside knife if necessary.

5. Use the fork closest to your plate for your entrée. You dessert will be eaten with the spoon and fork that is placed above your plate.

6. Your water glass should be the largest glass at the place setting.

7. Refold your soiled napkin when you leave the table.

Well, my dear, you made it through your formal dinner. Now, wasn't that fun? It may seem more complicated than is necessary, but it isn't. Inserting a little formality into our routine can shake things up and make it special. I really think we should be treating ourselves even if it is only a Wednesday night. I think I'll plan something nice for my wonderful husband. We deserve it.