Forty-Something Years Young:

I used to believe that growing up to be an adult meant acting a certain way, and doing 'grown-up' things like cooking, shopping, working, or having a family of my own. I mistakenly concocted this picture in my mind of how to look...act...or be, to prove I was no longer a child. If I had only known back then what I know now, I think I would've still been playing Barbie dolls at twenty years old. But time passes...we all grow up, and sometimes too old...to soon. I was an old-acting adult; misguided by the imaginary mold I thought I was supposed to fit. But that was then...!

Since turning 40, I've started to look at life in an entirely different light. I remember my dad a lot; coming home from work, tired from a full-days' work, but still bent on running races with us kids and any other 'young buck' who thought he could out-run my dad. At 50-plus years old, Daddy was still the fastest kid in our neighborhood. No one could beat him...and they all lined up to try, almost on a daily basis. His spunk, his vim and vigor, has been an inspiration to me...in my post-forty years. Until the day he died, he was still my fun-loving father; truly one of a kind in my book.

My mom and dad were late-in-life parents-Dad was 43...Mom was 42-when they had me; the youngest of their six kids. And I guess what got me to thinking about my early childhood was having my third child at 41 years old, after my other two kids had already hit young-adulthood. It brought me back to all the times, when my older kids were little, that I thought I was 'just too old' to play kids' games. I was only in my twenties, and even though I thought I was all grown up, I know now...I didn't have a clue.

My little Nixi-the one we lovingly refer to as 'Baby'-is already one-and-a-half, and the time is flying by just as I remember it did with my older daughter and son. But the one thing that is different, I know, will make all the difference in the world when it comes to Baby's upbringing. I...the mom (and I...the woman) am different now. I feel younger than I did in my twenties; like I finally caught my second wind. I no longer worry about how I am 'supposed' to act as an adult. I finally realized that the only thing (or person) who was standing in my way of a younger, more exuberant me...was me.

Now it's second-nature to sing the "We Did It" Dora the Explorer song with my little Nixi; gladly spending all morning watching her favorite cartoon right by her side. I realize that if Mommy doesn't think much of her cartoons, she might not think they're so great either. We dance, we sing, play...laugh...and tickle. I love to make her smile; my little tyke. But that's not all. I too have rediscovered many things I loved doing as a child, but somehow thought of as only child's play; where grown-ups dare not venture.

I want to re-learn the many things I've forgotten, and discover new adventures and fun...right along-side my little girl. And if we're lucky, maybe my husband and two older kids will come join us...and resurface their inner-child too. For me, there would be nothing better!