Four Fun Ways to Connect with Your Teen This Summer

One of the most challenging parts of adolescence for parents is trying to stay connected to their child. School and social obligations take up more and more of their and it may seem that there are fewer and fewer opportunities to spend time together. You miss the time with your child and then to make matters worse, researchers add another layer of pressure with all their reports of how important it is for parents to stay involved with their children, especially during adolescence. And they are right, there is s large body of research indicating that a strong relationship with parents is one of the key factors in keeping teenagers out of trouble and helping them develop into productive and healthy adults.

Too often parents, knowing the importance of being involved and finding it increasingly difficult, make spending time together a painful process for adolescents. Mandatory family dinners, conversations that resemble the French inquisition, and invasive supervision when they are hanging out with friends rarely foster the closeness parents are seeking. But it doesn't have to be so hard. With its long days and (hopefully) lighter schedules, summer can be a fantastic time to strengthen your relationship with your child. With a little effort you can turn the next couple of sun-filled months into a fun time to be together. Here are a few ideas to help you and your child stay connected or get re-connected this summer.

1. Play the high-low game. Even though school is out, there is always something happening with our kids. Taken from one of my favorite movies (The Story of Us), this game involves each family member sharing the high point and the low point of their day. This is a great way to tap into what is happening daily with your child without it turning into an interrogation. There is no requirement to elaborate but when everyone is sharing, including parents, it is much more likely that kids will offer more information. Always seem to be missing each other? Set up a high-low bulletin board and let each family member post their news there.

2. Do something nostalgic. One of the hardest parts of watching your child grow up is saying goodbye to the sweet little child they used to be. Parents often long for the times when they cuddled up with a picture book or watched their child playing on the swings at the park. Summer often brings out the nostalgia in all of us so make the most of it. Take a road trip to a park or other destination you used to frequent when they were younger or make a favorite childhood meal that they haven't had in years. The short trip down memory lane can help you both recall the positive moments in your relationship which can help you survive the more challenging moments to come.

3. Hang out with their friends. Generally speaking, the last thing any adolescent wants is their parents hanging out with them and their friends but with a little finesse and restraint you can make it a positive experience for everyone. Especially for the under 16 set who still require a chauffeur wherever they choose to go, having a parent volunteer to supervise or transport them to a fun event can be a nice surprise. Summer offers many opportunities to spend time around your child and their friends without being a hovering or intrusive presence. Outdoor movies and concerts, amusement parks, and even local festivals are all fun excursions where kids and parents can share some of the experience together while still leaving room for you each to go off on your own for a while. Making time for the kids to do some activities without you, you is a great opportunity for you to demonstrate that you trust their judgment to go out alone with their friends.

4. Have a "stay-cation". While family road trips and weeks at the beach are excellent ideas, don't underestimate the value of a mini- "stay-cation" right at home. Take a day off from work and all your other responsibilities and do something fun and unexpected with your kids. Let them help plan it, which will allow them to work on their planning skills and give them a sense of empowerment. Explore your hometown, laze at the pool for a whole day, or spend the afternoon watching all the summer blockbusters. Whatever you choose to do , make it a phone-free, computer-free, interruption-free day.