Four Keys to Getting Children to Do their Homework

When my kids entered kindergarten I was so looking forward to hearing from them all about playing with clay, building with blocks, having share time and song time and, of course, playtime. I learned all of those things! But that was quite a number of years ago, and I quickly learned things had changed.

If you have school-aged kids, you know what I mean. If you don't, let me tell you that there are weekly homework packets that must be done, pages and pages of them. And for some reason while kids are in elementary school the homework seems enormous. If your child is not a straight A student chances are they struggle with homework. It takes hours sometimes to complete. They get tired, and complain. And frankly sometimes what they are asked to do is too difficult for them to accomplish on their own. So you sit with them and walk them through the logic, you read them the next question and prompt them for an answer. Sometimes it becomes a battleground that repeats itself on a nightly basis.

But it doesn't have to be. There are things you can do that will minimize the problems so you both don't go crazy. I wish I could tell you to throw those homework packets out the window and forget about them but unfortunately that will only hurt your child's chances for success in the new, rigorous, standards-driven, school climate.

Here are some suggestions:

Do homework the same time every day in the same place.

This will help build a routine and provide structure for your child. If homework is sometimes after dinner or sometimes after snack, getting them to agree to sit down will be more of a battle. However, if it is right after snack every single day, they will be better mentally prepared. If you need to, break up homework time into small 10 minute sections with breaks in between.

Do not allow your kids to play their video games or watch TV until homework is completed.

This provides kids with motivation to get their work done. It provides a built-in reward system to use to encourage better behavior as well. If they moan and complain about doing their work, or argue with you their time with the games and TV can be reduced or taken away.

Provide other long-term, positive incentives.

If homework is completed with a fuss each night for a week you could provide them with a reward.

When things get tough teach them how to ask for help without acting out.

It is frustrating when you don't understand something or when it is difficult. Kids sometimes literally fall apart. They get into bad habits of taking out this frustration on their parents who are trying to help them. It won't be easy but you must not escalate the situation with your child. You must remain calm and you must not engage in dialogue when they speak to you without respect. If they say something in anger, you should say, "You must speak to me in a regular voice. I will not speak to you again until you do."

Say it and mean it. They might fuss and it might get worse at first until it gets better. But if you stick to your guns, they will learn that you mean business. Help them by giving them things to say that are acceptable.

I wish you luck and know that it will get better.