Four Surefire Ways to Get Rejected at a Speed Dating Event

Jessie Kay
You're single, you've mingled, but still haven't found a suitable mate. You're sick of seeing the same vulgar gel-haired bar stars looking for one-night stands at every nightclub in town and the thought of reading more online dating profiles riddled with tired cliches like, "I dance like no one is watching" and mentioning how "sick of the bar scene" they are just makes you queasy. You heard about speed dating somewhere - whether it was from a friend, relative, or an Internet search and thought, 'Why not?' If anything, it's better than spending another night alone on the couch, watching Dancing with the Stars.

So you took the plunge and signed up for a speed dating event in your area. You're presented with the opportunity to chat up 8-10 eligible singles in a few hours to see if you click with anyone. Even if you don't meet anyone special, it's still like two months' worth of wasted weekend dud dates squished into one night! You paid your fee and you want to make the most of this non-conventional dating method, so the last thing you'd want is to do something that gets you deep-sixed by the opposite sex. Here are some sure-fire ways to turn off other singles at a speed-dating event.

1.) Turning it into a job interview : You've been on a lot of dates and frankly, you're bored of endless nights of awkward conversations about how many siblings you have and how much traveling you'd like to do. You've been looking forward to this event and don't want to come home from the speed dating event with a laundry list of a bunch of strangers' favorite books and movies.

Instead, you go decide to go the creative route and ask more thought-provoking questions such as, "Where do you see yourself in 5 years?" "If you were an animal, which one would you be and why?" "What is your biggest failure & how did you overcome it?"

While these are thoughtful, inspired queries, questions such as these conger up an unpleasant vignette of smarmy hiring managers, phony enthusiasm, and self-concise feelings for many people. Remember, you're looking for a personal relationship, not a new sales manager! Asking easy, non-threatening questions ("What do you do for a living?" "Where did you go to college?") might seem dull and cliché, but you only have a few minutes with this person. A "boring" question about hobbies can lead to a more detailed conversation. She likes running? Why not tell her the funny story about how you tripped over your own feet on the treadmill?

Interview-style questions make many people squirm in their seat, often evoking time-wasting "erms, ahhhs, uhhs." The clock's tickin', your date is fidgeting while he struggles for an answer, and the next thing you know, he's scanning the room, looking forward to his next date.

You blew it.

Leave the philosophical questions for the dinner date, Barbara Walters.

2.) Sharing too much information: Is there a giant boil on your foot that's about ready to pop? Did you spend last weekend passed out in a gutter? Do you not trust banks & hide your money in the freezer? Do you insist that there's a noiseless helicopter following your every move? There's a time and a place to preach your tinfoil hat conspiracy theories and share your medical oddities, and it's not at the speed dating event. You're trying to impress your 8-minute companions, not scare the individuals away. Always put your best foot forward and don't share unnecessary details, but be sure to remain true to yourself. Hence, if it's a dealbreaker that your date shares your "Tupac is still alive!" mindset, then, please, do us all a favor and reveal this early on.

3.) Drinking like a fish: Most speed dating events include a drink ticket in the admission price. By all means, take advantage of it & tie one on. You paid for it, so drink up! Even if the event does not provide free drinks, chances are, it's held at a venue with a liquor license. One or two beverages is fine. Anything beyond that gives your dates the impression that you spend your weekends drinking beer out of a crock pot. The mixed drinks take the edge off, but knocking back more than two cocktails gives impression that in your spare time, you turn into a lushy disgrace. This is a speed dating event, not Thirsty Thursday at the local dive.

4.) Asking your date for his or her number: You locked eyes and sparks flew. Your conversation flowed effortlessly and you discovered you both have a passion for camping and a love for Great Danes. It's a match made in heaven, all generated in a few mere minutes of bliss. Logically, the next step is to get the digits, right?

Settle down, Casanova. Don't make a move for the groove just yet.

Most speed dating companies discourage you from asking other singles for contact information to encourage a no-pressure, safe environment. Usually this rule is clearly communicated before the event begins. During the speed dating event, singles are each given a card to write down names of people they are interested in meeting again. After the event, the speed dating company will provide you with the contact information, provided that the other person wrote down your name too. By ignoring these rules, you give your new friend the impression that you're a disrespectful oaf. Chill out - if your new pal digs you, you'll have everything you need to contact this latest love interest within a day or so.

In conclusion, your main goal at a speed dating event should be to just be yourself and have a good time. Speed dating is an excellent avenue in which to meet other singles in your age group, enjoy fried appetizers and weak cocktails, and have a night of great conversation. Who knows, you might just meet that special someone you've been searching for all your life!

Published by Jessie Kay

Missy Jess enjoys writing about video games, home improvement tips and travel articles. In addition to writing, she enjoys long-distance running and fitness.  View profile

3 Comments

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  • C. Theodore Walker9/8/2009

    ah yes....for some reason dating has gotten harder. I really don't understand it all. Great article, btw!

  • Patricia Sheasley Sicilia9/5/2009

    Oh, I am SOOO glad I'm an old married woman! Finding a mate these days just be sheer hell! And if anyone asked me questions like "1. what is your worst failing" and "2. where do you see yourself in five years," which are my most loathed interview questions, I'd tell them, 1. "that I'm so desperate I'm speed dating," and 2. "as far away from you as aspossible!" This was a great article. You have a nice wit about you.

  • Maxine Nelson9/3/2009

    I've heard of speed dating, but never really knoew what it was until now. Excellent iformation with a lot of great advice. Well done!

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