Fox's, The Wedding Bells: Forever Hold Your Peace

Runaway brides, a near-affair with a cook, a sleepover with a groomsmen, an attempt to psychoanalyze a character that usually only occurs in the fourth season of a show ... and that was all in the first 10 minutes.

The "Wedding Bells", a new "dramedy" by the creators of Ally McBeal, chronicles the complicated lives of three sisters who inherited their parents' wedding business after their untimely divorce. Teri Polo ("Meet the Parents," "Meet the Fockers) is Jane Bell, the seemingly self-appointed leader of the trio, who has relations with her husband on a schedule. Annie Bell ("Fever Pitch," "The Grudge) is the recently-divorced sister Jane is trying to fix by forcing her to delve into her feelings about their parents' failed marriage. Sarah Jones ("Murder 101" and one episode of "Ugly Betty) is the comic relief, the unattached sister who likes to flirt with the available clients' groomsmen and ushers. These three sisters, along with a troupe of support staff, run a lavish "Wedding Palace," where brides-to-be are not allowed to run into each other and everything from cooks to musicians are at their disposal. The Bells deal with wedding issues galore, from second thoughts to arm fat, all the while suffering their own dramas.

In the first episode, the Bells have to keep uber-spoiled bride Amanda Pontell (Missi Pyle, "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory) and her equally-spoiled dog happy. Pontell calls everyone by their professional title: "Wedding planner, does marriage work;" berates on-staff band leader, Ralph Snow (Chris Williams, "Curb Your Enthusiasm) to a pulp. Meanwhile, Pontell's mom (Delta Burke) is slipping cash to the sisters to make sure the phrase "Jesus Christ" is -- even accidentally -- uttered during Pontell's wedding to a Jewish man. Viewers learn that Annie has a past with David, the photographer, and that Jane is attracted to the company's head cook.

The problem with all of this is that it seems forced and unrealistic, even for television standards. Movies like "Father of the Bride" made audiences long to get married and experience the planning process, even in the face of strange characters. This show demonizes that process to a point that isn't even funny. Brides aren't real people, they are primadonnas. The Bell sisters aren't much better.

In contrast to other David E. Kelley ventures, no one expected Ally McBeal to be happy. That was part of her allure. She taught viewers about love, loss and recovery. She was so good we could even handle the dancing babies.

The Wedding Bells," on the other hand, don't seem to offer any sweet-underlying message: just Bridezillas on parade. The first episode was chock-full of heavy information that is usually unveiled in at least the second season. We know that Jane has marriage issues; Annie not only has a history with David but is also still interested in him; and Jane thinks Annie has attachment issues due to their parents' divorce. No hope for hopeless romantics, or even people interested in getting in the wedding industry.

Watch "South Park" instead.