Fractured Fairy Tale: Beauty and the Beast

Hello, young friends. Allow me to introduce myself: I am Elizarre, your all-purpose enchantress for cursing those in need of a good cursing. I am known for a number of different cursings throughout the ages, but my story is often mistold. For this reason I come to you today to present the true story of "Beauty and the Beast," not so much to save my own reputation as to open you eyes to the grand deceptions that take place in our daily lives. You see, the only truth to the story as you know it is that there was a Beauty and there was a Beast...the rest is up to me to set straight.

There once lived a proud and vain prince, who was also extremely wealthy. His looks and riches had won him many a young heart, but his pride would not allow him to notice anyone he considered below his station in life. He had everything that should make a person happy, except for a companion. Quite frankly, though, he did not notice that anyone existed other than himself.

I had heard of this prince from many of my acquaintances, and so I set out to see if what they said about him was true. Much to my sorrow, every word was true. I had disguised myself as a poor old woman when I knocked upon the castle gates. I was dusty from the long journey and was therefore taunted and ridiculed by the prince. I knew that something needed to be done to teach this proud young man a lesson, so I whipped up the most fitting curse in my book: ugliness. Yes, I transformed him into a hideous beast. I thought it most appropriate that his outer appearance match the corruption of his heart. Naturally, he became most miserable and shut himself up in his castle while his heart turned even more hard and bitter than it had been before.

A few years after this incident, I heard of a young country girl named Beauty who was living with him. Ironically, she was as vain as he was before the cursing. It was obvious that she was after his money, while he only kept her around because he had finally found someone beautiful enough to suit his tastes. He kept her entertained with stories of how he was really a handsome prince who had been transformed by an evil witch who was envious of him. Beauty drunk in the stories easily and so together they began to plot a way to break the curse.

One day while Beauty sat in her room brushing her hair, she became so pleased with her appearance that she said to her reflection, "I love you!" with much sincerity. It just so happened that the Beast walked into her room at this exact moment and heard her statement. For some reason he believed that she was speaking to him, and that was all it took to break the curse: someone saying that she loved him. He was instantly transformed into the handsome prince he had once been.

Beauty turned around in surprise and was immediately infatuated with the gorgeous prince. They made hasty wedding plans and were married the following day. They decided to go tell the world their miraculous story of "true love conquering great evils," and thus they increased in riches and fame. They thought that they had found perfect happiness, having everything they could desire (which consisted, of course, of looks, wealth, and fame).

It infuriates me to no end that these two spoiled brats polluted my good name for the sake of selling their little sob-story to make themselves look good. Instead of thanking me for making if possible for them to get together in the first place, they have ruined my reputation for life. Really, if they do not watch their backs, their perfect little bubble will pop when I can come out of my castle without being met by scorn and laughter...