Fraud, Fakery a la Lorenzo Von Matterhorn from How I Met Your Mother

In an episode of the television sitcom How I Met Your Mother, Barney employs an elaborate scheme to pick up a girl with whom he's interested. He selects a unique, memorable and fancy-sounding name, in this case "Lorenzo von Matterhorn", and then he plants a fake website for Lorenzo von Matterhorn on the internet. The website indicates that Mr. von Matterhorn is rich and famous. He plants fake articles on the web attesting to Lorenzo von Matterhorn's fame, wealth and sex appeal. He then introduces himself to his target as the famous Lorenzo von Matterhorn. She is intrigued and Googles him on her cell phone. The search brings up the phony articles and websites, and she is agreeable to his pickup.

The "Lorenzo von Matterhorn" maneuver got me thinking about various real scams I have seen people pull to aggrandize themselves at the expense of others. The following scams have been used to pad résumés, exaggerate credentials, or even to build an alter ego. These techniques are certainly worthy of the likes of Lorenzo von Matterhorn.

1. I am a Nobel Prize Nominee: The first time I saw this one, it was used by a guest on a cable news talk show. The guest was introduced as a "medical doctor and Nobel Prize nominee". That sounds impressive, doesn't it? While it certainly would be more impressive had he actually won the Nobel Prize in medicine, I'm sure it's a great honor to even be nominated. But think about the word nominated. Nominate simply means to designate or name. A nomination is a proposal that a named person should get the prize. Therefore, technically, all one must do to be a Nobel Prize nominee" is to have a letter sent to the awarding Institute or Academy for your particular prize.

Of course, that's not how the Nobel Prize works. They have specific rules as to who can nominate and who can be a nominee. Nonetheless, in the true dictionary sense of the word, if you send your name to the Academy awarding the prize, you are technically a Nobel Prize nominee. Congratulations.

My example of the talk show guest mentioned above was "nominated" in an unsolicited letter sent by his Congressman. This illustrates another point. When trying to con someone, if the conman can't get his title or honor legitimately, he will try to legitimize his claim by piling on indicia of legitimacy. In this case, although a letter from his Congressman carries just as much weight as a letter from his plumber, there is a layer of legitimacy added to his claim, in that a person connected to the legislature has associated his name to this nomination.

1. I Attended Harvard Law School: Somebody tried to use this one on me. "I attended Harvard Law School." When you think of the law profession, there is no greater aspiration in the U.S. than to get your law degree from Harvard Law School. The very mention of the name conjures thoughts of the elite and high-powered lawyers who become the power behind all aspects of the American legal system. This is a well sought-after credential.

Unfortunately, this person didn't say "I graduated from Harvard Law School with a law degree." He only said, "I attended Harvard Law School". The word attend simply means to be present at. This person went to a seminar that was hosted by Harvard Law School. It was open to the public. He paid his admission fee and listened to a three-hour program. For that, he told me that he "attended Harvard Law School." Be careful with that one. Always look for a diploma.

And speaking of diplomas, if you have been on the Internet at all, you know that there are several diploma mills operating fraudulently all over the world. For a fee, they will send you an official looking diploma. They tell you that you can use this as your credentials when applying for a job. In fact, several high-profile people have been caught using phony diplomas. Beware.

1. That's Lord von Matterhorn to You!: Scams abound in the world and on the internet to entice you to pay large sums of money in exchange for a title of nobility or some other honor. Some of them involve the sale of square inches of land to which a title attaches, or the use of a patent or other officially registered document.

During the US health-care reform debate, Louisiana Congressman Charles Boustany gave a speech for the Republicans criticizing the Obama plan. To undermine his credibility, detractors, most noticeably Keith Olbermann, reported that Boustany had filed a lawsuit to get back money he had paid to a conman for a royal title.

4. Time's Man of the Year! I haven't actually seen this one, but I'm sure it's coming. "I was Time Magazine's Person of the Year for 2006". This is always going to be true, whoever says it. In 2006, Time awarded Person of the Year to "You," in tribute to the boom in the Internet and other technology that made our media democratic. The cover of the Time issue had a mirror which reflected the reader's image. So, you can honestly say, "I was awarded Time's Person of the Year" without being called a liar.

There are so many other schemes and scams around. As many as there are gullible people. Our Lorenzo von Matterhorn should have no trouble inflating his image to the unsuspecting prey. But remember, all of the examples I cited in this article are known because they were exposed. The bigger the lie, the more fallout when it's busted.

The author is Colonel John Lally, twice nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize and a minister with the UniversalLifeChurch. So is his dog.