Freddy the Evil Snowman

Many years ago, in an unnamed town, there was a boy. Now this boy was only twelve years old, and was different looking from the other kids in his class. He had slicked-back green hair, a hook nose, and big, BIG glasses that made his eyes three times larger than they were. His name was Freddy. In spring, he planted his garden and danced in it. In summer, he wore his yellow short shorts and blue sweat shirt and ran to his heart's content. In autumn, he dressed in his working clothes and raked yards for no charge. None of this bothered little Freddy, however, because he was as free as a bird and didn't have a care in the world, other than whose lawn he would rake next.

But during winter, oh boy. Winter was bad. His ears turned a bright, flaming red and his knees trembled like nothing ever seen before. Still, he didn't care, or at least didn't want to. His classmates teased him and picked on him and called him names, but poor Freddy didn't do anything about it.

Then came December 6. That date would be forever known to Freddy because that is the day when Calvin Liarface came to his school from Compton. Calvin was taller than Freddy, faster than Freddy, stronger than Freddy, and meaner than Freddy. By December 12, Calvin had made Freddy cry 8 times, tattle 14 times, and wet himself once. Things were not going well for little Freddy.

Lunchtime Revenge

Everybody knew that Calvin Liarface was a spoiled brat from the day he walked into school dressing all icy in his $200 Hammer pants. He had a sack lunch everyday with ice cream, soda pop, and an apple to throw at out friend Freddy. Freddy ate school lunch leftovers from the trashcan. This was yet another thing that Calvin could make fun of Freddy for, and yet another thing Freddy would hate himself for. It would eat him up like the stomach worms he had, unfortunately. At this lunch however, Freddy had a plan. Good natured, old people loving Freddy had a plan.

Calvin was in the middle of his Rocky Road Banana Split Sundae when Freddy was rummaging through a nearby trashcan. With pinpoint accuracy, Calvin launched the apple straight at Freddy's head. It hit with a bang as it burst, spraying apple juice all over Freddy's back and hair. Freddy winced with pain as the blow blurred his vision and slurred his words. Then, with barely a shout, Freddy fell into the garbage can he was eating from. Of course, Calvin and his friends left and then ran outside to recess, but Freddy's hand darted out, grabbed a moldy sandwich, and stuck it in his pocket.

While rubbing the spot that the apple had hit, Freddy made his way outside and glared at Calvin. Also with pinpoint accuracy, Freddy threw his moldy sandwich at Calvin just as he was turning around and hit him right in the face. Peanut butter and jelly dripped all over his chains and medallions. Freddy stood there with his head held high and a grin on his face. Calvin sneered and looked at Freddy with a look of contempt he had felt for no other person. Viciously, he lunged on Freddy with his posse right behind him punching and kicking. A punch in the temple knocked out our friend for just around four hours in the snow, when a blizzard hit. By now, school was over and everybody went home. But Freddy was still there, frozen over. Snowed over, over and over again. Until he was a snowman.

Freddy's First Win

Eventually, Freddy woke up, but was not the same. By now he should be home in his cardboard box singing along to his tape player but this was different. When Freddy got up, running was a waste of time, because he had no legs. Crawling didn't work because he would do is fall down. When Freddy looked at himself in one of the school's windows, he finally realized what had happened. The hair on his head was covered by a top hat, and his skin had turned to snow. His arms were branches and his body was three big snowballs. A scream broke through his charcoal dotted mouth and he fell one again. At that moment, Calving Liarface and his posse just happened to be walking by their elementary school, and they saw Freddy. Or, a snowman made for ruining at least. Now Freddy was really scared because he was defenseless. Calvin got there, but to his and Freddy's surprise, Freddy fought back. Out of nowhere, a snowball flew out of Freddy's midsection and hit Calvin right in the... the... "knick-knacks." He writhed on the ground yelling and cursing in pain, and Freddy fell over laughing. Calvin and his gang really didn't expect a laughing, snowball throwing snowman, and so they ran. However, Freddy was still scared, not of Calvin, but of himself.

Later...

For no apparent reason other than utter fear, Freddy sat down and cried. As his tears fell and his eyes watered, little ice balls formed and hit his carrot nose. But his magic snowman body melted now that he did not need it, and he wet himself right as it happened. His slicked back hair was still frozen though, and it as sticking straight out from behind his head like he had just gotten off of a roller coaster. "This is horrible!" Freddy said aloud. "I wish my crack-addict daddy was here RIGHT NOOOOW!" Then Freddy began thinking of how he had become a snowman and tried becoming it again, but failed. For, the magic snow only works when the person is in trouble. But then again, Freddy is in trouble a lot...

During his walk home to the refrigerator box in which he lives, he saw one of his friends, Douglas. He's imaginary, but that didn't stop Freddy. They talked and talked and finally decided to have a sleepover together and sing Yankee Doodle. They made a little fire (a flashlight) and sang some tunes with the stereo (the crickets) and had a grand time. But tomorrow was a Thursday, when Calvin was the meanest, and he was not happy from getting beat-up by a snowman they day before.

That next Thursday, Calvin was absolutely horrid to Freddy. Pushing and name-calling were fairly common, but getting spat at in the face and milk poured on your head wasn't. But that night, Calvin's favorite show was on, and Freddy thought he'd have some fun.

Thursday Night

Right before school got out, Calvin called Freddy an 'estupido' and put him in a trashcan, so Freddy wept all the way home. Unfortunately, Freddy realized that his Barbie watch had broken the day before, thus he did not know what time it was and he needed to be at Calvin's by 7:00, when the A-Team came on. So, he was forced to walk to Calvin's and hide in the dumpster (which, by the way, he thought of getting one for himself due to the massive room) until his plasma screen TV had Mr. T. It was a long, smelly, and delicious wait.

At right around 6:55, Calvin climbed into his massage chair, and Freddy climbed onto his roof. He waited for the theme song to stop blaring from the surround sound and kicked the satellite dish, ruining Calvin's reception. From inside, Freddy could hear all sorts of swearing, cursing, and badmouthing above the background static. So Calving got his gat and ran outside to look at the roof, only to find Freddy standing there like a deer in the headlights. But this is where all the running in the summer came in handy because he jumped off the roof ad ran off into the horizon.

Calvin followed in his Escalade.

Crying for fear of his life, Freddy hid behind a car. But his tears never made it to the ground because they were frozen and hung from his burning charcoal eyes. His body was once again encased in snow and ice and the evil snowman inside him came out. He stood in the middle of the road and Calvin's Escalade came to a stop (even though his spinners didn't). A showdown took place that night, Freddy's snowball flew and Calvin's gat shot repeatedly. When the police came, both were unconscious from the worse case of bullying they had ever seen. Neither were supposed to survive, but they did. And they met each other again nine months later in the seventh grade.

To be continued...

Bullying is bad, don't do it or you will end up like Calvin Liarface