Free Guide: Sex Toys for Couples

Once the Rabbit Vibrator was featured on an episode of Sex and the City (R),we all knew that the topic of sex toy had definitely became main stream. Sex toys, however, are often associated with singles -especially single women, but the truth is they are a great tool for couples too. No matter how many years into a relationship or how conservative a man may seem, I have yet to meet one whose eyes didn't light up at the topic of a woman owning a sex toy and getting to share that experience with her.

While a lot of sex toys, like the ever-popular vibrator, can certainly be used together some sex toys are made especially for use as a couple. I will outline three types here that are sure to spark ideas and having you bringing a renewed level of passion and fun into your sex life!

The first type of fun toy that most couples benefit from knowing about is the vibrating cock ring. They are relatively inexpensive (with prices starting as low as ten dollars) and because of their design they are an excellent source of clitoral stimulation during intercourse. While regular cock rings are designed to somewhat restrict blood flow from the erect penis to create a longer lasting erection and more intense orgasm whether used with a partner or alone, vibrating cock rings are designed especially for couples. While most men achieve orgasm with penetration -most women require clitoral stimulation to reach orgasm. The beauty of a vibrating cock ring is that they are designed for couples to be able to have both sensations at once. A cock ring is usually made of materials have some give and, like the name implies, are a simple ring that fits snugly around the base of a man's penis. They come in both regular cock rings that you can use over and over as you would any sex toy as well as disposable cock rings for one time use-much like a condom. Of course, not all men enjoy the sensation of a cock ring and that brings me to the next sex toy that allows for hands-free clitoral stimulation during penetration.

The strap-on clitoral vibrator is a great sex toy for couples. They are small, compact vibrators that are held in place gently on top of the clitoris by soft elastic straps that fit around ones legs and can be worn during intercourse. Many are not simply small, flat vibrators but are also designed in fun friendly shapes like the "snuggly teddy " or "the butterfly" They slip on easily and allow for creative sexual play with a partner in all kinds of ways. Imagine experiencing the pleasures of clitoral stimulation while both you and your partner have your hands free to stimulate other erogenous zones. These clitoral stimulators often also come with a remote control that allows for variations in speed and intensity.

The third category of sex toys for couples that I would like to introduce are bondage/fantasy toys. For some, the mere mention of bondage/fantasy brings up thoughts of whips, chains and perhaps some sense of being sexually deviant. The truth is that playing with a sense of power and control in the bedroom is a very common fantasy and can be extremely erotic. There are many beginner bondage fantasy kits that include soft, sensual items such as faux fur lined hand cuffs, feather ticklers and satin blindfolds, which can all just be part of another way to explore your sexuality as a couple.

Lastly, if you are unsure how to bring up the subject of sex toys with your partner the best advice I can give is to approach the topic with a sense of light-hearted fun and playfulness and most importantly sensitivity. It is one thing if a partner approaches you to say "What we have is great. Let's get playful. I have some ideas and want to know if any of them turn you on?" vs. approaching with a sense of inadequacy or being unfulfilled and looking for or needing something to fill that void. While it may be true that at times a couple's sex life can become a bit stale, monotonous or lacking in a sense of newness-these feelings are not only common but do not necessarily need to be emphasized in order to introduce change. I always say, better to focus on the positive, especially in an arena which can be a sensitive topic for most people. If your partner questions why you have an interest in experimenting with sex toys -be aware that this question may be stemming from an underlying concern of, "am I not enough?" Being aware of this, you can readily assure them that introducing a sex toy into the bedroom can be much like taking a vacation or going for a night out on the town. It has nothing to do with anything not being enough-but is rather about giving yourselves a gift-something that makes you both feel fun and adventurous together!