Frequently Asked Questions About Unassisted Childbirth

When I tell others that my son was born at home, unassisted, they are usually astonished. Most people haven't heard of unassisted childbirth, as even homebirth with a midwife is uncommon in our society. Many people can't even imagine giving birth outside of the hospital without doctors, much less midwives. People all tend to have the same questions about freebirth. Here are the answers to some of the questions I am asked most frequently about unattended birth and unassisted pregnancy.

What if something goes wrong?

This is the big one that I hear most often when discussing unassisted childbirth. The simple answer is that the mother learns how to recognize labor, pregnancy, and birth complications and handle them at home. She also learns when it is necessary to go to the hospital for medical attention from a doctor.

What about prenatal care?

I am asked this a lot about unassisted pregnancy. The answer is different for each woman. I did my own prenatal care. I paid attention to my pulse, blood pressure, weight, fundal height, and fetal heart rate. Some women receive no prenatal care; they just pay attention to how they feel. Others see a doctor or midwife for prenatal care. The amount of testing done varies by mother.

How do you know your due date?

Add 40 weeks to the first day of your last menstrual period, and that's your estimated date of delivery.

How do you know something won't go wrong?

You don't. You hope and trust that things will go well with the pregnancy, labor, and birth, but you learn how to deal with complications. Basically, hope for the best, and plan for the worst.

How do you know when you're in labor?

This is something nearly every pregnant woman asks at some point. The answer is: you'll know! The labor contractions will increase in strength and frequency. Usually they feel like a dull pain that radiates from your lower back to your abdomen and back again. They come in waves, and they keep coming no matter what.

How do you deal with the pain?

Women tend to want to know this about homebirth and natural childbirth in general. Most people's plan for pain relief is to have an epidural! Natural childbirth isn't about gritting your teeth and bearing unbearable pain. It's about learning natural ways to decrease and cope with the contractions. Homebirthers try to change their attitudes about pain so that they don't expect tremendous pain and perceive the labor contractions as energy rushes. We ensure we are well-rested, well-nourished, and well-hydrated, because discomfort can increase perception of pain. We deal with the labor and birth pain in natural ways like submersing in warm water, getting a massage, assuming a comfortable position, and just trying to relax.

How do you know when to push?

Again: you'll know! Everyone feels it differently with each labor. Some suddenly get an overwhelming urge to push when it's time to give birth. Others end up pushing without even realizing. Your body is doing the work of pushing out the baby on its own as your labor strengthens. The baby will come whether you push or not in most cases. I knew it was time to push because I began to feel intense pressure at my pelvis. A few pushes later, I had a healthy baby boy!

Who delivered the baby?

We don't really like the term "deliver." You deliver a pizza; you give birth to the baby. The mother is the one who does the work; catching really isn't that difficult at all. Some women catch their own babies. Others have a friend or relative do it. Like most women, I had my husband play the role of 'birth attendant.' He supported my leg until the baby's head began to emerge, at which point he began supporting it instead. He let the baby emerge into his hands. Had the cord been around the neck, he'd have unwrapped it--or tied it off and cut it, if necessary. If it had been around the body, he'd have somersaulted the baby out. It really isn't that incredible of a feat usually. You just play catch, and the baby is born! A lot of people praise the father for doing this, which is indeed a brave thing to do given our society's fears about birth, but it's the birthing woman who does the real work.

Did you do any suctioning?

No. Some people chose to do it, especially if the baby seems to be having trouble breathing. My son came out screaming his healthy lungs out, so we didn't feel any suctioning was necessary after his birth.

How did you tie off and cut the cord?

We could have ordered clamps, but we chose to use shoe strings. We waited several hours, until the cord had stopped pulsing, and baby had transitioned well. We sterilized some scissors by boiling them for a few minutes, tied the cord in two places, and wiped it with an alcohol pad. Then my husband snipped it with ordinary household scissors, which took only a few moments.

Now what?

Hold your baby in your arms and stare into her eyes. Rock back and forth and thank the gods. Bring him to your breast to nurse. Wrap her in a warm towel. Dress him. Just enjoy being together!

What if mom keeps bleeding or the placenta doesn't emerge?

If mom is bleeding, she can take some herbs like Shepherd's Purse (after the placenta is expelled) or Motherwort. The placenta will usually come on its own if you move around, stand up, walk about. Or, you can have someone apply gentle pressure to the stomach, then gently reach into the mother to open her a bit so that it slides out. You can also apply very slow, gentle traction to the cord to see if you can tug it out; never pull too hard. If these things don't work, head to the hospital.

What do you do about cleaning up?

Well, if you birth in a pool, you just drain the water. Some people will lay down newspaper, puppy pads, or a vinyl shower curtain to catch the mess then ball it up and throw it away. That's what I did. We just tossed it in the trash, then laundered whatever towels and bedding that got dirty. It didn't take very long at all to clean up after a homebirth, especially if you plan ahead.

What did you do with the placenta?

The hospital disposed of mine; I went in after the birth because my placenta did not come out. Some simply throw theirs away. Others bury it, usually near a pretty tree. I've heard of people freezing it until they figure out just what to do with it. If you have the stomach for it, there are many recipes for preparing the placenta to eat. That's definitely not for me, though!

What about getting a birth certificate?

You'll need proof of pregnancy, such as a note from a doctor saying you were pregnant or received prenatal care. Some places accept a picture. I had to use two notarized affidavits. You'll need proof of residence, such as a utility bill from the month the child was born. Last, you'll need proof of birth like video, medical records of the child's first exam, or affidavits. They will usually want to see the child, the mother, and the father. I filled out two forms here in Colorado, and I sent in for the birth certificate by mail two weeks later.

Isn't this illegal? Could someone report you to CPS?

No, it's not illegal! There's no way to prove that a woman had an intentional unassisted birth, rather than not making it to the hospital in time or birthing before the midwife arrived. People can report you to CPS, who will usually just make a house call to ensure all is well. They will not take any action unless they are alarmed by what they observe in your home. Unassisted birth may be a reason for them to glance your way, but they can't use it as a reason to take your baby. They have to have reason to believe the child is not safe in your care.

That's all there is to it, really. Unassisted childbirth may seem to be a complicated subject, but it's really quite simple. Women do a lot of soul-searching and researching when preparing for an unassisted pregnancy and birth. Natural childbirth requires planning ahead and preparation to cope with the labor contractions. Birth is natural; it will happen, usually complication-free, regardless of your planning. Preparation will make homebirth a lot easier, though. I hope I have answered all of your questions about unassisted childbirth, which is a wonderful way to bring forth a child into the world.