Friends with Benefits: A Healthy Alternative

We live in an age of endless possibilities when it comes to dating and relationships-heterosexual, homosexual, open relationships. One of the far-underplayed and most successful relationships I've come to find, however, is that of friends with benefits. Immediately people scoff and roll their eyes at the thought of it. They assume it synonymous with hedonism or promiscuity. But I feel, given the right situation, that this is one of the most beneficial relationships that a person can get into.

Before I explicate, I want to make very clear that when I say "friends with benefits," I mean exactly that. I don't mean perfect strangers that strike up a deal, I'm talking about two friends who already have a good standing friendship that want to kick things up a notch. Each person should care about, trust, and respect the other a great deal. This is very important. It takes a great deal of understanding to be in this particular kind of relationship without someone getting hurt, and nobody wants that.

I also do not advocate having a relationship such as this one without bringing up the same questions that would be addressed in any other relationship-such as the risks of sleeping with multiple partners, prophylactics, etc.

I've met so many people that have found themselves in and out of relationships for one reason or another. I used to be one of them. I jumped from guy to guy, letting my attraction take me in whatever direction that lead me to feel that I was worthy, attractive. We broke up quickly because there was little connection beyond the physical connection we shared. Eventually I discovered this amazing relationship with a guy, and it was perfect for both our situations.

Neither of us was really looking for a relationship. I had just gotten out of a one and wanted to take a break. We had a great time together. We went out, we laughed, and we were great together physically. We had all the perks of a relationship without the messy feelings or commitment. Neither of us put too many demands on the other, and we never got into fights. If either of us were to start having serious feelings for the other, it would be put out on the table and decided upon. I've encountered that situation before, and it was handled very maturely.

I think having a friend with benefits allowed me to look at my relationships in a different light. I think too many people equate sexual attraction with compatibility, and this just isn't so (though it helps). Because of this, I was allowed to enjoy myself without putting myself through the emotional turmoil of countless breakups. When I did finally find someone I wanted to commit to, I made a good decision and didn't just run after the first guy that I was attracted to. I've never regretted it.

A friends with benefits relationship isn't for everyone, but it is something to think about. It's a little unorthodox, and perhaps a bit risky, but for me it was a great experience.