Friends, Chums, Pals

Much of what I am about to tell you seems as if it would be common sense. Apparently not. Let me clarify a few things when it comes to my views on friendship and what I expect of those in my inner circle, and also, the type of friend I am. Here goes:

1. If I am sick to the point where I don't feel like seeing anyone or doing anything, then I'll disappear with the exception of the internet. Being online is a pretty mindless activity for me so you can contact me on the computer if it's necessary.

2. Having a baby and being a full-time student means my life is pretty damn busy and can change on a whim. I don't like having to feel apologetic to somebody if plans fall through or I'm unable to do something. Instead of me feeling in the wrong, let's work on you being understanding.

3. When it comes to contacting my friends, I'm not the best. I never instant message people and I'll rarely initiate a phone call. This is just who I am and the way I've always been. My rationale is that if people want to talk to me they can make the first move, or if I'm dealing with somebody who is like me then we'll just bypass all the bullshit and speak only when it's important.

4. I really don't like drama. Although it is my duty as a friend to listen to your perspective, I'd really appreciate it if you take my feelings into consideration-- especially if your drama involves another person I care about-- and get rid of all the gory details and give me a cut and dry version of the issue. If I want you to elaborate on a specific aspect then I'll ask.

5. I don't take sides. I can agree when a person has done something unfair, but unless it's been done to me, it's really not my business. Hopefully you'll have the maturity to respect the fact that I try my hardest to remain neutral. You will turn me sour if you are constantly bashing somebody when I've made it clear that they are my friend. I am the person you should go to when you want an objective opinion, not when you're looking to be surrounded by 'yes men.'

6. It makes me really uncomfortable when my friends don't get along. The only exception to this would be if they haven't gotten along from day one, but if they used to be friends and that is no longer the case then I feel awkward.

7. If you tell me a secret, it will remain just that....a secret.

8. I'll do anything for a friend and am fiercely loyal. Whenever a friend is in trouble I do my best to help in anyway I can and don't ask or expect anything in return.

9. Lots of people say they don't want me on their bad side. That is not a place you want to be because I can be cold as a snake and very vindictive. However, that's a place that is reserved for people who have truly wronged me. It takes a lot to make me angry. I get annoyed, irritated, and even slightly pissed...but it is very rare that I will be angry with a person. Hearing that somebody has talked about me behind my back or getting into an argument are not grounds for being exiled to my list.

10. Fights really aren't that big of a deal for me. They happen and are just little bumps in the road. I'm the type of person who will stop mid argument and say: "Let's put the issue aside for a minute. Did you see 24 tonight?!" This isn't me trying to avoid anything, it's just me being me, and also attempting to reassure you that just because we're fighting doesn't mean it's the death of a friendship.

11. Past fights are things I try not to hold over anyone's head. Let's keep them where they belong, unless we're drunk and laughing about it.

12. If we've had a disagreement or are no longer in each other's lives, I'll never be out to "get you." Lately I have witnessed a close friend deal with some pretty crazy stuff from some of her former close friends. I'm not going to sit around on the internet and stalk you. I'm not going to email a person thousands of miles away to talk negatively about you. I'm not going to run my mouth to anyone who will listen about you. And, uh, it goes without saying that I won't involve law enforcement or head hunters.