Friends and Depression

What is the meaning of a good friend? Someone who knows you better than you know yourself? I guess that would be pretty close, but I am not quite sure that is the right answer. I have things on the inside of me that no one knows, not even my best friend. A friend is someone who cares enough about you to say whatever it takes to help you get better. You know what they say; the truth hurts. But they will thank you for it later. That is if they are as much of a friend as you are.

I have a friend who has been my friend for almost 16 years. That is the longest friendship I have ever had. Not because I am not capable of a long term friendship but circumstances have not been such that it worked out for me until later in life.

Right now she is going through a depression, and I am not quite sure how to help her. Even tho I battled depression off and on most of my life until around 1991. But we are all different. There are different reasons and causes of depression. We are all different as far as our minds and our brains. I say brain, because sometimes it is a medical reason as verses an outside reason.

There are times when people can have a chemical imbalance and become depressed. Then there are times that something happens in the person's life that you know has caused them to become depressed. And then, as in this situation, there doesn't seem to be a reason for my friend to be depressed.

I am using her as an example because, according to statistics, a few years back, it was estimated that 1 in 3 people would either be depressed, or have a friend or family member depressed in their lifetime. There are a lot of symptoms, most of which are not hard to spot. One will lose interest in things that they normally enjoy. They may stop wanting to get dressed every day or keep their hair and make up done. For the ladies that is a big clue. They may want to sleep more than usual or just curl up and watch TV all day and night. Not going or doing anything that they normally do every day. Crying over little things or even nothing at all. Sleeping too much or not being able to sleep. So, what to do when you see your friend struggling with these symptoms.

I tried to talk to my friend, and she informed me that she was already taking an antidepressant for the last 5 months. Well, I knew that and that was why I wanted to approach the subject. It did not seem to be working. This is a serious subject because depression can take hold of someone and cause them to want to die.. Not always but very often depression left untreated can cause suicidal attempts. Also suicide appears to be hereditary.

In my own family my husbands brother committed suicide at the young age of 32. Many years later after our divorce, my ex husband committed suicide in the same way his brother did at the age of 49. This insidious killer can be something that runs in the family or something lacking in your health make up, and lastly it can be something that is caused by outside issues such as abuse, or a loss of a loved one. A legitimate reason to be sad. At any rate, you have to try to get your friend to continue to get help. They will not like you very much while you are after them but it is something you will be glad you did.

As for my friend, she has stopped her anti depressants saying that they are the cause of her sleeping 12 hours a day, plus 2 or so in the recliner. I think it is time to hassle her to talk to the doctor about a different anti depressant. Sometimes another one will work better. It is also time for me to pressure her into getting out a little more. By pressure, I mean, I will remind her that we haven't been out to lunch together in the last month. Or we haven't went shopping for antiques at the thrift stores lately. What ever it takes, I will pull her out into the sunshine because she is my friend, and I know she will do the same for me if I get that way. She can be sure that I will be watching her closely for any signs that she is not getting better. If I have to, I will camp out at her house and keep her company until she gets better. Because that is what friends are for.

This is just a little reminder of how important friends are and of what a dangerous thing depression is. The information here is my own from personal experience.