Friendship Checks Are a Good Idea

Sometimes, when you are friends with people who aren't close by, you might find yourself in a rut. Maybe you're emailing the friend once in a while to catch up. Maybe you call them once a month to see how they are. But maybe you notice after a time that they aren't talking to you as often, and you're wondering what you can do to "shake things up" and make things better between you and this other person.

Why not just ask? Asking is scary, but it's also the easiest thing you can do.

Sometimes the simplest thing, and the best thing you can do is just say "hey- I noticed things seem kind of blah between us, what can I do to make things better?" or "can I do anything to make things better between us?"

Maybe they haven't noticed things aren't so great. Maybe they're perfectly happy with how things are. Or maybe they've noticed, too, and have no idea how to fix things- but simply asking might get the ball rolling between the two of you. Once you can open up communication between you and your friend you can fix any problems--but you have to open that door! You have to be willing to be the brave one once in a while. If you don't, you may lose your friendship. If you truly want to be friends, then be a friend. Talk to them. Be vulnerable. If there are problems, that may not fix them immediately, but it will go a long way towards showing the other person that you care about the friendship, and that you are willing to work on it. Just that might mend some of the cracks. Then you can figure out from there how you need to go about addressing the "bigger" problems.

Or, by opening up, saying "hey, what do you need from me?" you may find your friendship hits a new level- you may fix the cracks and then go higher!

That one sentence-- "Hey, what do you need from me?"-- can be a huge thing, whether your friendship is on the rocks, or even if it's going gangbusters. You may think that you and your friend are fine, but when you ask that question, you are opening yourself up to that friend, and you are saying that you are willing to give that friend something that maybe no one else has. You are willing to meet a need in their life. And you'll probably be surprised, but they will probably step up and meet needs that you didn't know you had in your life.

Be willing to see what your friends need from you. It may surprise you, but it may also make an amazing difference in your friendships.