Friendship and Parenting: How to Stay Friends Once Your Baby is Here

Having a baby changes your life! I had heard it many times before and knew that there was some truth to it, but never imagined just how much. Everything changes, that's for sure! Most for the better, you can't imagine what you did without this tiny little being--this little miracle has made your life complete. I have loved every minute of being a mommy over the last seven months, it's been a whirlwind but so amazing. I will say however that maintaining friendships is one of the things that has changed drastically, and it's just one of those adjustments that you have to master over time.

Most of my friends already have kids, and I remember feeling like I couldn't relate to this very large part of their life before it was my turn. I remember that it all changed when we decided we were ready for a family and of course after I was pregnant, almost like I had been initiated to a club of some sort. The very best friends though never made me feel like I didn't fit in, and made a valiant effort to keep our friendship going. I knew at times that getting away for happy hour or brunch wasn't always easy and sometimes it didn't happen, but the fact that the effort was there meant the world to me. I always kept that in the back of my mind that making the effort with friends, no matter what the situation, was going to be part of me as a parent.

You can easily get caught up in the baby, every move that she makes seems to be so enamoring to you that you can barely focus on anything else. I also remembered that while people want to hear a quick update on your kids, they don't want the in depth details. I don't mean to be harsh here, but let's face it--nobody cares about the foods your baby is eating and how quickly they crawl but you, your husband, and your parents. Leave the details to chats with your family and instead give a quick overview to your friends. Unless they have a baby at the same age and want to know everything including seeing all of the latest pictures, then just keep it short and sweet.

Try to plan things that can include your friends with kids and without! We have a whole group of friends from high school that we still talk to--some are single, some are married without kids, and some have kids (all of differing ages of course). We try to plan at least two little get togethers a year, one that is kid friendly and one that is for adults only. This makes those with kids feel welcome to show off their family and have their kids play with the other ones. It also allows those without kids to still have fun with their friends that they remember from years ago, pre-kids!

While you can get caught up in playdates, lessons, and other activities that you have your kids involved in, use the golden rule "Make new friends, but keep the old......". I remember hearing once that friends serve different purposes in your life, you have "friends for a reason, friends for a season, and friends for life". Not everyone will fit into the "for life" category, but those that do need to be remembered no matter how hectic life may get. A quick lunch here or a cup of coffee there can make all the difference in the world and bridge the gap between any differences you may have in your life.