Friendships and The Effect on Your Relationship

A friendship with a member of the opposite sex can be a tricky situation if you are involved in a relationship. As a woman with many male friends, I know that my boyfriend does get a little upset if I have plans with one of my guy pals sometimes. I understand that he feels insecure at times. It is only human.

When we met, my boyfriend knew I had friends. He knew some of my friends were men. He thought it was novel, and cool that I could be friendly with members of the opposite sex, without having sex. However, it is part of human nature to feel jealous. I can't help but feel flattered when my boyfriend gets a little irritated or jealous over my guy friends. I feel that my friendships help make my relationship stronger. My guy friends help me to be a better girlfriend. They offer insight, they are honest with me, and they all adore my boyfriend.

I admit if all the sudden my boyfriend was hanging out with girls, I would be upset. He hasn't had 'girl-friends' as long as we have been together. I wouldn't go as far as to try to forbid him from having friends of the opposite sex. If I felt uncomfortable with the friendship I would be honest about it. I expect the same courtesy and honesty from him.

Communication, trust and honesty can go along way in a relationship. Instead of fighting about the friendship, or issuing ultimatums. Talk to your partner about the way you feel. By reasonably relaying your feelings, you will be able to rationalize the situation and go from there. It is not a good idea to make accusations! Try an approach like "I am sorry, but your friendship makes me a little jealous, because I love you so much." An approach that is more of an accusation will always back fire. A common reaction to accusations of cheating is "If I am getting accused of cheating, and I already feel the repercussion, I should cheat."

If your partner is really jealous, angry or sensitive about your friendships with members of the opposite sex, try making the jealous party feel like a part of the group, and see how that affects the jealousy issues. We all need interaction with other people, and friendships really should not be based upon gender, but the qualities that the person possesses. Some of the most rewarding friendships can be between members of the opposite sex.