Friendships: How to Tame Your Green-Eyed Monster

You have felt it---that undeniable twang that occurs when a close friend achieves a grand accomplishment or announces an engagement. You're happy for her. But you can feel an extra something deep down that makes you uncomfortable. Yep, those are the pangs of envy you're feeling. But don't worry; it's only natural. Nonetheless, problems typically ensue when those sentiments have a chance to steep and spiral into cattiness. It's understandable to wish that our peers' good fortune would also rain upon us. But that's just not the way life works all the time. Recognizing your feelings of envy is one thing; acting upon them is another. If you're wondering how to keep the green-eyed monster from affecting your close friendships, read on --

Figure out what you're feeling.

Are you actually jealous, or are you simply harboring latent feelings of personal dissatisfaction? Sometimes when something good happens to a close friend, we begin to reevaluate our own progress in life. Before you start entertaining thoughts that can quickly spiral into a flurry of uneasy emotions, try to determine the true source of your desires. You might be surprised to discover that your feelings have absolutely nothing to do with your friend's good fortune or status.

Check your situation.

That "grass is greener" approach to life is usually what causes a great deal of dissatisfaction. One great way to squash feelings of envy is to simply take a closer look at your own life. Chances are you're overlooking all the great things you've already got going on. So before you dive into a personal pity party because you lack big news to share, consider the things that you're most thankful to have.

Take a step back.

Ducking out of the way whenever something good happens to your friend is a surefire way to reveal that you might be uncomfortable with her success. But when you start feeling those twinges of jealousy, sometimes it's necessary to take a mental step back. This is what most people like to call "objectivity." Has your newly engaged best friend spent a good deal of energy revamping her social life? On the other hand, if you're experiencing troubles in your love life, hearing about someone else's bliss can be a little difficult to hear. Sometimes putting things in perspective can help tame that green-eyed beast.

Make a bold move.

Sometimes all you need to counteract a hard case of envy is to make a bold move of your own. You shouldn't feel the need to compete with your peers. But finding ways to create your own happiness will more than likely temper those bad feelings you may have about your buddy's over-exuberance. Consider the things that bring you the most joy, and remember that the person most responsible for your own happiness is you.

SOURCES:

www.psychologytoday.com

www.howtodothings.com

www.shine.yahoo.com