From Dolls to Babies

"Sis, can we talk?" Brian said, nervously looking side to side before tentatively stepping into his sister Robin's room.

His hands shoved deep in his faded jean pockets trembled as he scanned over the doll shelves taking up an entire wall. They held an assortment of collector dolls, some dressed in faded dresses while others lay half undressed in a state of disarray. Others were covered with a fine film of dust, long untouched but perfectly groomed, from their hair styles to neatly tied lace bows.

There were numerous tales regarding strange twin bonding experiences and he of course believed them, having experienced the same experiences with his twin. This time he was relying on this unique bond with his seventeen year old sister, because he seriously needed to speak to someone female. Under no circumstances could he speak to his mother, so Robin was elected as his first and last choice.

"What do you want?" Robin snarled, feigning annoyance. Her lips curled back, giving him an evil grimace, while her ear remained pressed against the phone. Brian had nerve to cross her bedroom threshold without knocking, again. How many times had she literally punched him out every time he slammed her door open? By now she presumed he'd learn to respect her privacy.

When they were younger and first separated into their own bedrooms, Robin cherished the privacy she had behind a locked door. Still Brian always managed to barge in and disrupt her, even picking her lock in an attempt to gain entrance into her private sanctum. Their parents finally intervened after she took matters in her own hands by booby-trapping her bedroom. The expression of stark surprise on her brother's face when he was bombarded by cascading dolls crashing from a net she suspended above her closed door was utterly priceless. It was a memory that still produced hysterics, even after six years. She squelched the urge to burst out in laughter now.

"What do you want?" She said, giving him a deep growl. Even though she wore an expression of annoyance, she really didn't mind his intrusion. In fact she enjoyed his company, especially since he matured and joined the human race. Watching him shuffle his feet around on her carpet, she asked, "What's up? I'm talking to Mike." Mike was her longtime love of nine months.

"I said I gotta talk to you. Hang up on the creep." Brian said sarcastically, striding across the room to flop down on her mauve bedspread. He imitated sloppy kissing sounds, loud enough for Mike to hear over the phone. He considered Mike an all right guy, but this was his younger sister by two long minutes. A fact he never allowed her to forget.

"Mike. Gotta call you back, the pest wants to talk. Believe me, it better be important! Yeah, love you too." She hung up, reached over and punched her brother in his arm for mimicking her words.

"Ow! Quit it!" He shoved her fist away and bounced off her bed, collapsing on the floor to roll around in feigned pain.

Following him down with a pillow, she smashed it over his head and shoulders repetitively until they fell apart hysterically laughing.

Totally breathless they fell back, holding onto their sore sides. They realized they were probably at the age where playful teasing should stop but continued to torment each other anyway. In a strange way it maintained their special closeness, other than being siblings.

Brian brushed brown wavy hair out of his eyes. Shoulder length long, even though his mother always threatened to cut it off in his sleep. Robin threatened to use cream hair remover on him one night when he got on her bad side. He grinned, watching her sweep her own brown wavy hair away from her face. Even though they weren't identical, he still viewed his own chiseled features in her face though they looked way more attractive on her. Her muddy brown eyes were the same ones he viewed every day in his bathroom mirror.

His girlfriend Jennifer was seventeen, and she enjoyed the company of his sister. They even double-dated more than a few times, with Robin and Jennifer gravitating off to the side to gossip, leaving Michael and him alone to stare at each other and make aimless sport talk. A small lump started to bulge in his throat. He swallowed and cleared his throat.

"You know, Jen and I have been seeing each other for over a year now?" He formed a question but meant to make it a statement.

"Yeah, you're just two adorable lovebirds. So what are you trying to tell me? You're gonna get..." Robin teased, pausing when she noticed his eyes darken and a solemn cool expression cross his face. His darkening eyes were a sign that revealed he was being totally serious. In the past they also warned her to back off when they were quarreling.

He hastily completed her sentence. "No, I'm not getting married! Not yet...I think. Jen's pregnant." Blurting the words out, he felt a wave of relief wash over him, because the words were finally out. Now he waited, carefully studying her face for her first reaction.

Her jaw dropped down, stunned, in pure shock. Her eyes bugged out as she attempted to figure out if he was pulling a fast one, because he had before. Breaking the sudden heavy silence, she stuttered, "You're kidding...right? Pregnant? That's too..." She wasn't sure how to react but knew she sensed an overwhelming presence of doom in her brother.

He sat on the floor, long legs crossed and hands folded limply in his lap, and sighed, "Yeah, pregnant. Well, maybe. We'll know soon. I don't know what else to do, but I know I'm not ready to be anyone's Dad."

"A Dad! Hey, you don't have to worry about that because if Dad finds out he'll end all your problems. I mean..." Her voice dropped off as she sensed the seriousness of the situation.

She remembered years ago when her brother was into ripping the heads off her dolls. How could he be a father now? Physically of course she understood but dealing with a real pregnancy, a screaming brat at night. This was totally inconceivable. Even her baby dolls, the ones who whined, "Mama, Mama," irritated her at times when she was younger. So much so, she even shoved them under pillows to muffle their cries. Her eyes drifted over to her collection, realizing she preferred the look of them on shelves rather than having the cruel reality of a flesh and blood infant in her arms. She definitely wasn't ready to be anyone's Aunt for a long time, a mother for even longer. Today she still detested baby sitting duties or, "brat sitting," only taking jobs if she was desperate for quick cash.

"It's a real bummer. We thought we were being careful. You know, we took precautions. Safe sex, all that stuff." His cheeks blazed, realizing he was speaking to his female twin about birth control. This was rougher than he'd ever imagined it'd be.

Lately they conversed on everything, but lightly touched on the subject of sex. Sex was still taboo. He skittered around it with her, even when he was forced to deal with her monthly excuses about having P.M.S., and shared a bathroom with her and all her feminine garbage. Maybe it was because he noticed she still dressed her stupid dolls on her shelves when she didn't think anyone noticed? Or because he believed he was way more mature than she was, and old enough to have sex? And maybe because he'd definitely maim any guy who touched his sister? His eyes skipped nervously over each doll, experiencing an extreme urge to rip off their curly heads. He shuddered and inhaled deeply, nervously meeting her probing eyes.

"Robin, you know if you dare tell anyone, and I mean anyone, including lover boy, I'll make your life a living nightmare."

"I won't. I swear. But what are you gonna do?" She waited, her thoughts drifting to her own relationship. Physically she hadn't gone too far, but there was always that possibility. The fact it felt great to be near him didn't help, but hearing about all the risks of getting pregnant and sexual diseases from friends did increase her turmoil. She was one of the few who still believed safe sex still wasn't safe. Her personal beliefs made her looked upon as odd, but she really didn't care what anyone thought, except for Michael.

"I don't know."

Her brother sat in front of her looking like he was ten years old again, twisting his hands in tight small circles. She had an urge to brush his hair away from his eyes but forced herself not to. Jenny was someone she liked, and she seemed to keep her brother on the straight and narrow, but this news was unbelievable.

"How's Jenny?" She asked, realizing if she was in the same situation she'd be swinging off the nearest bridge.

"Aw, she's going crazy. You know, crying and everything. She doesn't want to be a mother, but we can't see going...well you know..." He paused, squeezing his fingers until they blanched white.

"Abortion? You're talking about abortion?" Robin yelped. The mere thought made her skin crawl, but the thought of passing a seven pound baby, a basketball, made her crawl even more. Crossing her legs in a reflexive action, she continued spewing out thoughts racing around in her head. "Have you looked into clinics? I don't know if they're safe. Weren't people protesting, trying to bomb them awhile back? Can you live with yourself after you destroyed a life? I mean it's a baby now, or is it? How about trying adoption? That might be an idea. But if you decide to keep it, Jenny's going to get really fat, and you're gonna have to quit school and get a job. And forget college. But Mom and Dad will..."

"Robin, stop!" He screamed, halting her barrage of words.

Studying his face and seeing his chin drop to his chest, she grabbed his hands. "I'm sorry, Brain." Brain, was her nickname she used for him. Leaping to her feet, she shook a finger at him, just like their mother did when she chastised them. A wave of anger erupted; brought on by her fears towards the realization it could've just as much been her sitting there in a sticky situation.

"You're sorry?" Brian said, peering up at her.

"Why couldn't you have waited, been more careful, Brain? I know you got sex crazed hormones, but you should've used your head. You should've made this decision without thinking below your belt!" One glance at his stricken face and she realized her words hit home, because he turned away from her. This time she didn't attempt to console him.

In a few moments which seemed like an eternity, he murmured, "Thanks for all your support. You really know how to hit a guy when he's low." He stood up and walked over to the window seat, staring out the window, struggling to hold himself together. His head ached from a swirl of conflicting thoughts.

Joining him with her knees drawn protectively up to her chin, Robin studied him, noticing how much he looked like their father. His mustache was slightly thinner but his jaw line was just as firm, and well defined. His broad shoulders from his passion for weightlifting slumped down. Maybe he'd make someone a fine husband one day but that moment was supposed to be in the far future. Now they had college plans and career decisions to think about. She was supposed to be standing next to him during graduation, both wearing jeans under a blue gown; not sitting in a hospital waiting room waiting for a baby to be born while he was dressed in green scrubs.

Her head throbbed, sensing his turmoil. Reaching out she touched his shoulder. "I'm sorry, but I don't know what to say. Are you gonna tell Mom or Dad?"

Brian's misty eyes flared wide as a gut-wrenching spasm of fear hit him. Their parents were cool, and he never had any real complaints towards them. Even their manner of disciplining was fair and relatively infrequent, but what would they say now? They raised them both with strong values and morals, and now he failed them.

He knew Jenny was special, and he'd never done anything if he didn't love and respect her. They had talked about their future together after college and the possibility of getting engaged. She wanted a career in social work and he respected her independent streak. Did he screw up her plans because of this accident, because he felt royally screwed? What could his parents do, give him a slap on the hand or ground him for life? It all seemed futile.

"I probably will, but we don't know for sure yet. Jen's gonna call me as soon as she does the test. We went out and bought one together. You wouldn't believe how many kinds there were. There were crosses or dots, and others had pink and blue colors. Man, there were entire walls of this stuff."

"Just like condom shelves." Robin interjected.

"I know, but well, we used one but..." His face reddened. "Anyway, she wanted to be alone and do it. I mean...I tried to convince her to let me stay, being it's gonna be my kid and everything...but she wouldn't budge. I guess its better I'm not there anyway, I really didn't know what I'd do if..." He paused, searching for some kind of reassurance. "Hey, you don't think I'm being an idiot or a jerk or anything, for not being there?"

Smacking him in the shoulder, she said, "Nah, I don't. But I wouldn't want to be in Jenny's shoes, all alone in that bathroom for anything in the world. I'd have tons of my friends around, and take six, seven or maybe a hundred tests before I'd believe the results. You said you only bought one kind?"

"Hey, they're expensive. And this one's supposed to be the best. Even has a phone number to call if you need more information. And you get a person."

"Wow, what are you supposed to call for? It's either yes or no. I just wouldn't want to be in her shoes at all."

"Maybe I should've stayed there."

"Too late for that now Brain, you overgrown ape. I know you'd probably go after Mike if this happened to me, that is...if I told you."

"You're right. Mike would've been mince meat, wiped off the face of this earth. And what do you mean you wouldn't tell me?"

"Well, just listen to what you just said."

"It's different, that's all. You're a girl and Mike would've disrespected you." His voice deepened, firm with conviction.

"That's what you think about Jenny? You disrespected her? Does getting pregnant mean the girl's degraded to trash?" She stood up, staring him down.

"No, I mean..." He backed away from her furious expression. "Of course...I don't feel I degraded her. It was both of us. I care about her Robin."

In fact he realized just how much he did care for her, seeing her stricken pale face and trembling lips when she informed him her period was late. That image was still planted in his brain. Now he wished he could've reversed his actions, sparing her this pain. Deep down he was the one who felt ashamed, but he wasn't going to let his sister know that.

Robin grabbed his arm, and her fingernails dug into his skin. "Hey pig, it's not any different. You're both responsible, even though your species been known to run away from their end of the bargain."

"Hey, I'm not running anywhere Robin. I'm gonna be there, no matter what!"

"Yeah, I guess you will. But remember those statistics we read in health class. They quoted numbers stating that in the majority of the time males cut out on teen pregnancies, unable and unwilling to handle the responsibility. He gets to finish high school and go on to college and have his career. The girl has to go through a pregnancy, or..." She paused, shuddering. "...or an abortion or adoption. She's got to deal with parents, friends and family. And be responsible for a crying brat the rest of her life. And unless she's got fantastic family and support, she doesn't get to complete her plans. That stinks." She turned away, picked up one of her dolls and started stroking the braided hair.

"Oh you'll be a fantastic mother." He snarled sarcastically. "Every other word out of your mouth is about a crying brat. Babies don't cry that much."

Robin continued to stroke the doll's hair, and frowned. "Like what do you know about babies? Yeah, they're cute but I know I ain't ready to deal with bottles, messy diapers, and lose sleep. You think you are?" She flipped the doll in the air and watched it land in his lap.

"Me? I guess so. Hey I used to break your doll's heads off. You always ticked me off, always wanting to spend time with them, combing their crappy hair and dressing them up all day. You only wanted to play with me when you could use my trucks. To think I drove them around in my dump trucks to make believe stores. I was the idiot." He chuckled in a deep throaty voice, shifting the doll in his hands, pretending to rip the head off.

"Don't!" She attempted to rescue the doll.

"You know, this was the only way I got out of playing with you. Now you're too old to be playing with dolls anyway, me too, come to think about it." He gave the doll's head another feigned twist.

Robin shoved him, trying to grab the doll. They wrestled around until she reluctantly gave up, not wanting to see it destroyed. She watched as he expertly flipped the doll high up in the air, landing safely on her bed.

Brian also followed the doll's path, solemnly meeting her eyes afterwards. Awkwardly he reached over to grab her, giving her a bear hug.

"Oh, Brain." She returned the hug, feeling taut tension in his shoulders. Tears burned her eyes, trickling down her cheeks. She snorted.

Brian cleared his throat, and pulled away slightly. "You know if Mom saw us now she'd probably bust out crying. You know how she's always telling us how proud she is of us. You don't think she's got this room bugged, do you?" He peered around the room, attempting to ease the thick tension.

"Probably not, because you know she would've been flying in here already."

They laughed, knowing the overtly curious nature of their mother.

"It'll work out Brian. It has to." Robin gripped his hands.

The phone rang, and they nervously leaped apart, as if they were caught smoking. "I'll get it. It's probably Mike."

"Oh, no you won't. It's Jenny." He shoved her aside, struggling to grab the phone first.

"It's my room and my phone." She attempted to outrace him but tripped over his big feet. The phone stopped ringing. "Hey, that's your fault." She groaned, purposely stepping lightly down on his foot.

"Ouch! It was probably Jenny. I'm gonna call her back." He hopped up and down, but his hands trembled as he outreached his sister and picked up the phone when it started ringing again. "Hello! Hello!"

"Brian?" Jenny said, sounding overly excited.

His heart leaped up into his parched throat. He felt his sister's warm breath on the nape of his neck. Gripping the phone, he said, "Jen. Yeah, what..."

"I'm not pregnant! I took the test and it's negative. I'm already feeling cramps."

"Are you sure?" His heart thudded rapidly against his chest as he shook his head in the negative, responding to Robin's persistent whispers.

"I'm sure, I did it twice. There were two tests in the kit. Did you hear me? We're safe!"

"I sure did, babe. I'll be right over. That's great! I love you Jen!" He hung up the phone, a broad grin splayed across his face. His shoulder's felt a ton lighter, the tension of waiting over. At that moment he realized he wasn't ready to be a father. His sister stood in front of him beaming. "I assume you overheard everything?"

"Yeah! Your lily skin's safe this time. Or should I say safe this month?" She couldn't help spurting the last words. Once you've done it, it was going to be so much easier to think about doing it again, she believed.

Grabbing her around her waist, Brian twirled her around until her feet came off the ground. "There's not going to be a next time. I'm playing it safe. And you and Mike better think, before you..."

"You got that right Brain. But before you rush over to Jen's, I got one more question."

"What?"

"I'm just curious. Does this mean you two aren't gonna do anything from now on? Remember there's no such thing as safe sex." She watched his facial expression abruptly change from a smug one to a puzzled expression of conflict.

"Aw, come on Robin. Do you have to be so philosophical now?" He avoided answering her question.

Robin tossed a doll at him and Brian expertly caught it, and silently gazed down at it for a second as it hung by one foot from his hand.

At that moment they both looked at each other, realizing their time for playing with dolls and trucks was long passed. They had crossed over the line into adulthood, with neither thinking nor feeling the same after sharing this experience.

The End