From the Heart: My Journey to Finding Myself

There was a time when everything affected me; job security, others' opinions, the empty feeling in life, hurtful people, struggle, fear, and everything else you can think of. During this time in my life I struggled every day wondering what the next was going to bring me. I would prepare myself for the next catastrophe in life just in case it came and boy did it. This was before I figured out that life was meant for living the way that you wanted. Over fifteen years ago I began on a journey that has brought me to where I am today. Through trial and error and many life experiences I began to understand who I was and why I am here.

Being raised in a strict religious background I would doubt my own feelings and intuitions. The things that I would see and feel were considered the devil's tools. I was confused and young. But as I got older and began to understand what my calling within was I started on a search for life. This started when I was married with three young children and a husband who had the same religious beliefs as my childhood background. I would go to the library and pick up metaphysical books, self help books, anything that I could get my hands on. As my children were finding books on Peter Pan and Humpty Dumpty I was finding myself. Once I would get the books home I would hide them under the bed and read them on the floor of the bathroom under locked doors. Those books made me feel normal. I knew there was more to life than what I was being exposed to in my daily life.

I began to search and everything kept bringing me back to the power of

thought and feeling. As I became more educated I couldn't keep my thoughts to myself. I was so excited to have found one of the keys of life. I began to discuss these thoughts with my then husband and I would get the look of 'this doesn't work with my beliefs'. This time in my life helped me to see the life that I am living now. We separated amicably after eighteen years of marriage not just because of our difference in beliefs but because we both knew that our time together was over. Lee, my ex, and I are friends to this day and have helped each other through many an experience.

After we separated I moved from a small town to a big city where I could get lost and no one would know who I was. I could go into any bookstore and not get a sideways glance. I began hanging around people of like mind and I began to understand the purpose of life. All of it came back to the power of positive thought and helping one another through this grand play called life.

So why am I telling you this story? It is never too late to build the life you want. There are ups and downs but what can help get you through are the positive reactions and thought you put toward life. Each experience gives you more to experience whether it comes from a seemingly negative experience or a purely positive experience.

Every moment I have experienced in this lifetime made me who I am today and gave me tools to help others with their own journey. Even the experiences that had me crying 'why me' gave me wisdom that helps me

even today. By finding the positive in any negative and by finding the positive in the positive has given me a life that is rich with color. Every risk I have taken showed me a direction to grow. Every experience pointed me in a direction that I could choose whether I would take it or not.

Every experience is worth learning from. Yes, even those experiences.

Positive thought has changed me as a person. It helped me to accept who I am with all the strengths and the weaknesses and to forever striving forward to find a positive thought in anything. And if I can't find the positive thought in a situation I let it go knowing full well I'll see the answer down the road.

Positive thinking has helped me to understand other people and to continually move forward toward my goals knowing full well that by keeping my eye of what I want in my life that the Universe always brings it in some shape or form. Sometimes it doesn't feel as if it is better than the original goal but when I look back I realize it was the right thing for what I was asking for.

If I have any doubts about life I hand them over to the Universe. I know that it will be taking care of and the answer will be in some kind of unconventional wonderful form. Of course just when I rely on the unconventional it comes back to me in a conventional way. The Universe is always surprising me and I have found that I am beginning to love surprises. The experience of enjoying surprise showed me that I have let go of control...another growth and learning experience. Amazing!

To be joyful has been the best decision of my life. To live life 'in the now' and relishing every moment all the while clear of my intent of what I want in life. Positive thought has changed me to someone I really love that accepts others for who they really are within. Positive thought has changed my life and the byproduct of positive thought and feelings are all around me. I found Lee through positive thought, I had a wonderful ten year old that was a miracle (I was not supposed to be able have another child with my physical condition at the time) through positive thought, and life is just as I want it to be through positive thought. How do I like my life these days? Full of wonderful surprises, wonderful people, and joyous expectation. It can't get any better than that...oh wait...yes it can!!

Remember something that an incredible teacher once said...don't die with the music still in you.

Move life to where you want it through positive thought. It's a truly incredible life changing journey.