From Obsession/Compulsion to Peace and Clarity

Obsession, compulsion, workaholic, addiction, or just have to be busy, perfect, and orderly and/or do things just right, must achieve, or attain something or even fix something or circumstances? Have you observed yourself in this or a few of these contexts? Later, you're thinking, "I don't think this is how it should be, or how I should handle these things," or simply feel overwhelmed with the details of your life?

Seems powerful in the moment, doesn't it? As if it or these things are in charge of your life. I mean, you have appointments, deadlines, the kids, your spouse and you aren't getting any younger, right? There are goals to be met, like a new home or repairs, better car, getting a raise, meeting you bills, getting people organized at church functions so it runs smoothly, just getting by until the kids are grown and you can retire.

Do, do, and do. Go, go, and go. Achieve, reorganize, repeat, fix, find what you or family really needs here, and then try there. Maybe if you do this exercise your mind will work better or take this pill and your body will be thinner. Read these articles or books and you will know more, be smarter, and become the expert. Or if you could just meet this one bill this month, or if you could just find the right person to match your needs and interests, or if you kid would just listen to you/do the right thing, or if your boss would just get a life/see it my way and do things right... then I would be happy or could have a moments peace or feel better about me and my achievements.

The more you try the harder or longer it seems to be just to "get there."

So you're here now. Take a moment. Breathe deeply and exhale. That's right, just this moment and then ask yourself, "what is it that I think will really happen when I get there (your goal, plan, achievement, accomplish this or that, attain this or that, complete this or that event)?"

Yes, okay, your getting a mental picture that your there. Then the feeling may arise, "then what?" Exactly... you may begin to realize, "yeah, okay I've done this or that, gotten to this goal, and sure for a little while feel complete, satisfied and even happy. But the other thoughts and feelings are coming back that says, "not enough, not complete, do something more with your life, do something better and then I will be happy."

Sounds crazy? Like a vicious cycle? That's because it is. It's not personal; it is just years of conditioning of human nature. So now the mind might be saying, "What? What do you mean by that? This how it is, it just happens!" Quite ludicrous -the mind, how it can get a hold of you like that, isn't it?!

So that's fine, the mind can think. We're not here to resist its habit or ability. We are actually accepting it for what it is.

In the meantime, we are going to explore a bit beyond the minds capabilities. You've done it before, just probably didn't recognize it for what it was, so this is just a little reminder and attempt to bring your awareness to it.

Again, breathe deeply in and exhale. Okay, try it again, only this time, "ask your self, am I still breathing?" Now, I know, the mind might just chime in by saying, "ofcourse I'm breathing" and etc. That's fine. Just be aware that the thought(s) came about, and then you look back to your breathing and just be aware of it. Just observe the body and how it knowingly has the lungs expand. The chest falls and rises. The lower abdomen extends when inhaling. Perhaps, as you are observing, as it does not require thought for this to happen or to observe the breathe, you notice that your body begins to even breathe more deeply and muscles in your body even relax, as you are becoming aware which ones may have even been tensed up.

Now, as you read these words and notice that the body is breathing, notice also, that between each breathe, there is a pause or stillness... a gap. No discomforts and no thought required to experience or use these sense perceptions; just noticing/observing and being aware that between each breathe there is this stillness. A powerful tool if applied in this manner, to bring you fully to the present moment and what is transpiring before you.

Here is a connection point. In this moment you experience peace. It is the stillness being pointed to between each breathe. Now it is not to say that it is only found there, but this exercise is a primary tool, if you will, to pointing you to the sense of peace that comes out of stillness, formlessness, that which cannot be defined by words, but pointed to and experienced through sense perceptions.

In the beginning of this writing was addressing the things or that which is in form, outside of the self or our being-ness. When operating from mind and thought perception, in order to believe we are complete, have peace or are fulfilled, the mind creates thought forms. It only knows how to create the illusion of completeness by having you look outside yourself or into a thought concept and into believing "if I do this, achieve this, connect with this or that person" then I am complete and I will then be peaceful. No this is not so, as you discover repeatedly -yet in being consumed by thought patterns, you repeat this mad process over and over and over.

It's not personal; it is merely hundreds of years of human conditioning with the ego mind. It identifies itself through anything and everything from I am my degrees, education, job, status, family role, a victim, a winner, a father/mother, genius, idiot, and so on. That is all it is capable of doing and is doomed to be eternally limited. The mind is useful in practical purposes; however, what causes suffering, illusion, doubt, fear, etc is the incessant useless mental rambling which is not a needed process in functioning daily.

Again, breathe. Deeply now, "Am I breathing?" be aware, observe, notice... yes, no thought required, just using sense perceptions and continue to read at the same time; all requiring no thought process and can sense the peace in the stillness and allow the body to naturally respond to this moment that I am fully engaged in. There is no enemy. There is no harm done by being fully aware right now and I can experience a stronger awareness and clarity to do what I desire to do, in just this manner. I am present. Amazing, really, isn't it.

We are coming to a time and place in human consciousness and awareness where we realize a need for genuine peace. Many may recognize a desire to move away from a hurried way of going about their day, spending energy in worry, doubt, anger or frustration. Also recognizing that the "fruits of these labors, produce no fruit" or that of more misery, lack and disappointment.

Let us also take a moment to bring our awareness to another realization. This is to notice or observe the difference between the sense perception and/or experience of peace through stillness and awareness we experience in this present moment verses ones thought or conceptualized belief/image - who claims peace as a process of numbing the mind/emotions, i.e. indifference. As when one is in the state of indifference he may not partake in events of conflict, or be argumentative, and thereby assume he has achieved peace. However, realistically, he will still find fault with those around him, for they are "not like him -peaceful" and inadvertently has numbed him self or tuned out the experience of mercy, compassion, love, understanding and empathy. It is a practice of the mind to conceptualize what it means to be peaceful, because true peace comes from a place or space deeper and beyond what the mind is capable of.

When in a state of peace that comes from the direction we have pointed you towards, coming from deep within, and beyond the confines of the mind, you also express from this same place. It is not to say thoughts are not formed. It is that the thoughts are then motivated and developed from a truer sense of self, of being-ness that embodies, if you will, compassion, stillness, wholeness, wisdom and astounding sense of alertness and clarity.

To grow in this manner, is to simply be aware in this present moment. When this is said, it is not implying you will no longer have rational, or will be/act in life with no direction. No ofcourse not, for practical purposes, you may or may not cease to schedule appointments (depending on the clarity that comes to you), have goals or desires, and so on. However, you will no longer be controlled by a mind that is obsessed with each and every item, and it's every detail and how to create it or make it happen or embellish or label every event to create drama, hardship, worry, suffering and so forth. When being in a state of alert awareness, should a thought arise that says, upon observing a circumstance that may transpire, "oh, that's awful, I will never get ahead/be okay/get well," etc. you will be able to observe this with an inner knowing, that recognizes the fact(s) of your present circumstance (i.e. the car was repossessed) and not create the feeling or experience that you are suffering and you are no longer complete because you have lost something (though it is outside of your being-ness, again the mind believes this thing made it complete and therefore believes it needs it to be whole again -i.e. loss = suffering).

Whereas being present, the true sense of self does not identify with this, but merely recognizes the event, i.e. no longer in possession of this vehicle. And then from there you still experience full awareness/alertness, a kind of clarity that simply directs you to either act or not act. (i.e. I will save and purchase another vehicle; I will arrange for other forms of transportation; if I take care of this finance, I can have the vehicle returned to me, and etc.)

So we know, life happens; we are life. Another form of realization and awareness is to know that acceptance to your immediate events also assists freeing yourself from the bonds of compulsive/obsessive control from the mind. Again, not personal, it is just the human condition. To remember that whatever is happening in your life now, just is. If it were not to be what it is, it would be something else.

When you stop, and take those breathes to awareness, the intentional awareness of the very moment, the body responds accordingly. For example, notice when the mind is rambling on about, say a topic and a person at work. The mind labels this as a problem and by the way it defines this other person, that individual becomes conceptualized and virtually losses their humanness to the mind causing them to be experienced as the enemy or a problem. The mind labels this as stressful or painful or that gives a headache. As a result you experience your body responding with what you would equate as stress, i.e. upset stomach, muscles in the neck, shoulders and/or back becoming tight, a headache, and breathing becomes shallow and/or strained and so forth. And when controlled by the mind, this cycle goes on and on for years with every event, experience, topic imaged and otherwise; with only glimpses or moments of true awareness, peace or wakefulness into reality.

Back to here, this moment, reality -we breathe, we see, we hear, we experience from a place of depth, truth, an inner stillness that powerful beyond the conceptualized mind, as it gives way to the expression of the formless and ability to experience with joy, serenity and openness without the limits and masks of mental judgments, obsessions, concepts, fears, beliefs or illusions. To live, express and see through the being-ness of peace, happiness, wholeness and alert clarity; just experiencing what is.

Then the recognition or glimpse of your true personal canvas of life arises. The life you are living is your spiritual practice. Be it, daily; moment to moment with grace.

Be still, and know that I am God. (Psalms 46:10)